Is anyone truly surprised that Shane would be the one to find and pick a place with a name like this?

I mean, it gives nothing away. We could be going to the divey-ist of dive bars around. Or perhaps a real restaurant with a catchy name that specializes in sloppy Joes. Or an actual person’s house.

You laugh, but that has been a true concern at times with this group.

Driving in from the highway we also weren’t real sure how sketch this place could potentially be. Especially considering a lot of places on the street seem to have taken part in some sort of group sale on florescent window lighting. Because nothing says class like some bright green chaser lights lining every. single. window. in your establishment.

Turns out Sloppy Bob’s skipped the window lighting sale, so upon arrival we already pretty much scratched sketch off of our judgement scale. The place is quite small on the inside, although is seemed more to resemble an old auto workers garage than someone’s home. So there’s that.

You also apparently need to beware of what lot you park in during your stay as well. There were lots of references to staying out of another business’ parking lot during business hours if you’d like to still see your car again at the end of your meal. Cool. Noted.

Lots of different local craft beers are on draft here, and they apparently change so often they have a QR code and not an actual menu to list them. Smart.

The server/ bartender was clearly someone who has seen her share of drunk folks and puts the vibe out from the start that she doesn’t have time for their crap. Or truthfully anyone’s crap, drunk or not. Case in point, we asked her what was good on the menu because we had never been there before, and she told us to specify the category of the menu because she had favorites in all areas. OK then. I mean, I guess it’s better than the stock answer of “everything is good” or, worse, “I don’t actually eat things here.” But we legit weren’t prepared for her to have enough opinions that we needed to first let her know what type of food we wanted before she could even give a recommendation. OK then.

Then, in a move that clearly stated she felt 2.5 seconds should be ample time to decide if you want recommendations on wings or burgers or pizza or god only knows what else because we barely looked through half the menu yet …. she walked away to serve another table before we could give her a category.

And when she returned a few minutes after this hasty exit she just asked if we were ready to order, without acknowledging at all that we had ever asked her to suggest foods to us. Wait, what? We just got recommendation ghosted by our server, and no one is even going to talk about this? Just move on like it never happened?

So we never did hear her favorite dishes, but luckily we’re skilled enough at, well, eating that we managed to just choose our meals on our own. But thanks anyway. Super helpful.

Not that we didn’t have questions, but clearly those were meant to be shared only among our group. Like how Shane had seen pictures online of the pizzas and was particularly intrigued by the pickle one. And I was stuck on the fact that you could get pizza rolls or uncrustables – both deep fried, because of course – on the app menu.

What a time to be alive.

Ted opted to order the mini corn dogs as his app, while Shane and I got pretzel sticks.

The apps were good. We all may not be able to be fingerprinted anytime soon due to the temperature of the food, but I’d say it was worth it. The fact that Shane willingly devoured a pretzel without regard to the use of his tongue in the future speaks both to just how hungry he was and also how good the pretzels were.

For meals I’m sure you’ll all be shocked to discover that all three of us ordered burgers.

In writing this I realize we really should’ve been quicker to ask the server about this particular category, since it’s almost a guarantee that at least one of us will order one. Oh well.

Ted got the Hero burger, which is like a Roman burger, with fries.

He picked it up with both hands – without cutting it – and ate it that way. I doubt many others have tried that feat.

I got the House burger, which has house made sloppy Joe on it, with tater tots.

Shane got the DaBomb burger, which has Mac and cheese bites on it, with onion rings.

Shane commented upon arrival – and me questioning “are those fried appetizers on your sandwich” – that his meal was honestly right out of the Sheetz menu. So I’m sure glad we drove 35 minutes for him to order something he could’ve gotten a few miles from our home.

Ted and I both agreed that we would’ve liked to have seen Shane try to replicate Ted’s eating style and tackle this burger without cutting it. But alas he didn’t. We shouldn’t be surprised by someone I’ve seen eat both pizza and chicken wings with a knife and fork.

Overall Sloppy Bob’s was a solid pick. We all enjoyed our meals, and were sufficiently full when leaving. I mean, not 37 pieces of sushi full like some of us were last week, but still a normal level of fullness that meant we didn’t want to make any pit stops on the way home. We liked the variety in the menu and the unique items – I mean, we can truly say we haven’t seen wings with a peanut butter sauce before – and the large number of specialty burgers with interesting twists. Because, you know, we still like burgers and wings.

The service, while brutally blunt and straightforward, was at least punctual and never let our glasses go empty without asking if we wanted a refill. It was pretty busy when we arrived around 6:45, but after about an hour it had quieted down considerably and it was just us, one or two other small tables and a few folks at the bar.

Sloppy Bob’s does also have a patio, which of course we weren’t going to partake in on this 20 degree January evening – but will earmark for another visit in the summer. Along with our quick responses to the categories in which we would like menu selections. Preparation is key, friends.

Picked by: Shane