WTGW 5/23/18: Fatheads Brewery, Canton

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Hey look, we’re in a strip plaza in Canton again! Surprise!

We’re probably some of the few people in the Cleveland area who haven’t been to Fatheads’ original location, out in North Olmstead. I know I’ve enjoyed their bumbleberry beer on more than one occasion, but never at an actual facility. That location is probably within our radius for WTGW choices, but being that they recently opened a secondary location in our more familiar territory of Canton, Ted thought this one was worth a pick.

There, I’ve opened the can of worms for someone else to “pull a Ted” and pick another location of an already chosen mini-chain. Let the bets begin on how soon that happens.

Anyway.

The Canton location is pretty big once you get inside – especially considering it’s at the end of an aforementioned strip plaza. Typically I don’t expect much from a space that could’ve instead been built out to house a DSW or Bath & Body Works if this lease somehow fell through. There’s also a large, open patio in the front, and giant doors that open up the entire front of the restaurant to that area. Way to capitalize on the approximately 2.5 weeks worth of patio-worthy weather we actually receive here in NEO. Score.

Fatheads Brewery is, indeed, a brewery (imagine that), so of course they primarily serve their craft beers in house. Which translated to us needing a hot minute to read the full menu of deceptive descriptions before we could order anything. Also, thinking that five people could read the one beer menu provided by the hostess in the 5.2 seconds before the server reached the table was a lofty expectation at best. Unless you’re printing those things on gold leaves, maybe it’s time to shake up the budget and print a few more to allow for a greater table-to-menu dispersion. Just sayin.

We were all a little thrown when Shane was the one to order the darkest beer at the table. What now? Usually the “can’t see through my beer because it’s the color of the darkest night” award goes to Ted. This is new.

I wish I could remember the names of the beers we ordered, but unfortunately, well, I’m blonde and I didn’t write them down, so that information is lost by this point. Sorry. If it helps, they do rotate taps with some new selections and seasonal flavors, so chances are whatever we ordered isn’t available by the time you’re reading this anyway. So really I’m just saving you the trouble of getting all excited about ordering something they may not have by the time you visit. Yeah. That.

I will say that we enjoyed most of the beers we tried throughout the evening. Jason in particular, as we were all a little shocked when he finished his first beer before we even ordered our meals.

Shane: I know this is a big menu and all, but, seriously, just how long have I been looking at it?

It was another fried appetizer feast for our crew this week. Shane and I ordered the breaded mushrooms, while Ted, Cassi and Jason tempted the 3 Brothers gods and tried the fried pickles.

Newsflash: they weren’t as good. But they were close. They weren’t the thinly cut ones like our favorites, but they were crispy and came with a tasty sauce that definitely had a kick to it. Cassi declared that she could eat a whole plate of the pickles and be happy.

We are destined to order these everywhere now

Meanwhile it took Shane and I a bit to get through our basket of 4,000 breaded mushrooms. Some places we’ve ordered those for an app an it comes out as a handful of button mushrooms caked in batter to make them appear large enough to fill a basket. But here it was like the never-ending fugus bowl. The only thing I wasn’t a particular fan of was the horseradish sauce that came with them – but I think I was in the minority on that sentiment.

We won’t talk about the number of mushrooms that had to die for this order alone

For meals, both Jason and I kept the mushroom theme going by ordering the mushroom Swiss burger. To quote Ted, it must’ve been a “fungi-kind-of-night.”

That sounds bad.

Conversely, the burger was pretty good. Jason said that his was cooked perfectly. He wouldn’t exactly put it on his Top 5 burger list, although if he wanted to adopt Shane’s newly minted Top 7 rating system then maybe it would make the cut.

Actual table conversations, folks. I can’t make this stuff up.

I also thought the burger itself was good, but the giant bun kind of ruined things for me. It was too much unflavored bread, and I abandoned it about halfway through in favor of just eating the inner portion. When you love bread as much as I do, that kills me just a little bit inside – but life is too short to waste on bread that’s not ciabatta.

Once again I apologize to the mushroom gods

Shane also gave up on the bread for his Triple Bypass Burger, because he said it was cutting up his mouth with each bite. That seems like it should be the least of your worries with a sandwich by that name, but whatevs. Instead he ate his burger with a knife and fork, like a sophisticated person.

Stop laughing.

I appreciate the vegetables on the side for the attempt at healthfulness

On the non-burger side of the table, Cassi ordered a side salad and the Green Monster pizza, which she was not a fan of. She said that the chicken on it was dry, and that the pesto didn’t taste as good as she had hoped it would. But at least the bottom wasn’t mushy, so there’s a plus.

See also: the exact opposite of what Shane ordered

Looks better than it tastes. Move along.

Ted won the “I could feed the entire table with my order if we were normal people and ate normal sized portions” award with his pastrami sandwich. Or “headwich,” as it’s called on the menu, as they say that it’s “roughly the size of your head.” Yeah, they aren’t kidding about that. Eating it was definitely a two-handed affair. And watching him eat it was similar to watching him devour the grease-filled burger at The Game a few years back.

Side note: remember Healthy Shane? Those were dark days, my friends.

In any case, Ted finished the entire sandwich … because it tasted really, really good … and of course immediately regretted it, claiming that the last few bites were “under protest.” And he no longer wanted dessert. I think even the server coming over to ask us if we were interested in it made him a tad nauseous.

It’s oozing out of the bun

If you’re noticing in the photos that all of us have fries with our burgers and Ted is the odd man out with chips next to his pastrami sandwich – first of all, kudos for being super observant – but also I feel the need to mention that that wasn’t something we had any control over. Fathead’s is a little bit bossy about their side dish selection. To quote the menu: “House-made chips accompany all Headwiches and sandwiches, fresh-cut fries come with all burgers. It’s just a hassle for our kitchen to switch them around. We don’t want to be dictators but no substitutions. Thanks.”

Um, maybe its just me, but that seems a little harsh. Like what if I’m adverse to potatoes? I mean, that’s tragic all in itself, but far be it from someone to force them onto my plate, right? What if Shane had wanted to be “partially healthy Shane” and order a salad to go with his “hit you in the arteries” burger? It’s like the equivalent of Seinfeld’s soup-Nazi working in the back kitchen on the potato slicer. “No chips for you!”

They also could use a little more focus on the sports bar aspect of most breweries, and less on the “let’s put plants in strange places just to give it a little bit of decoration.” This assessment was made as we all attempted to watch the Cavs game through some foliage that was strategically blocking the bar televisions from our booth sightlines. I mean, if you’re going to serve beer in a midwestern city, isn’t prime access to sports-based TV watching a given? Again, just thinking out loud here.

Picked by: Ted

Ted

Cassi

Jason

Shane

Steph

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WTGW 5/9/18: Meyer’s Landing Bar & Grill, Canton

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Ok, so we’ve been doing this for long enough now that every so often we have to ask ourselves “wait did we go there before?” as we pass a place. Or “what was the name of that place we went to in (insert town here) with (insert strange characteristic here)?”

Or, in this week’s case, “this road looks familiar, didn’t we go to another place over this way before … it was at the end of a sketch shopping plaza … we sat on the patio …”

But this was the first time we realized as we pulled into the parking lot that we were actually at that same place, just with a different name.

Now in Cassi’s defense, she wasn’t with us the first time we came to Meyer’s Landing, which was known as Prestier Pub back in the fall of 2015. And as she described the place to us on the drive there – “it looks like it’s near a lake in Canton” – it didn’t sound like a place we’d been to before. But as Shane, Ted and I walked into this place we immediately remembered our evening on the huge front patio that lacked acceptable lighting, watching people go inside to the large bar that’s actually sunk into the ground so that everyone sitting at it kind of looks like munchkins, and remarking that we would definitely be safe from any roving bands of vampires we encountered on the drive home, thanks to everything on the menu being basked in some sort of garlic.

I found an article online that said the name and menu changed back in December 2017, but other than that everything seems exactly the same. Well, the church next door in the plaza finally has an official sign. So there’s that.

We opted for an indoor table this time around, since even though the temperature was patio friendly, the grey skies and threat of rain on the radar were not. Thanks, Mother Nature, for a perfect representation of my comments about last week’s seating arrangement. In any case, we picked a table just inside the doorway, since the name upgrade at Meyer’s apparently didn’t include an upgrade on the AC unit, which is still nonexistent. At least the doorway offered a bit of airflow. And large bees, which the guys worked to liberate from the windowsill after we sat down so we didn’t have to eat dinner to the sound of a buzzsaw attempting to pass through the window behind their heads.

Surprise, we ordered appetizers! I know you’re shocked.

Shane and I got the onion rings. They weren’t Stowaway Pub quality, but they were OK.

I still argue that fried vegetables are still vegetables

Cassi and Jason got the loaded potato skins. Also really nothing to write home about, but at least edible, so score.

You know we’ve eaten at some shady places when being edible is cause for celebration

Ted got the fried banana pepper rings. Which he said didn’t have much flavor, so they were apparently not picked from the same garden as the extra spicy banana peppers that adorned my pizza last week.

Picked from the non-spicy side of the garden

Ted, as he sets his menu down with an air of finality: I’m getting the pork chops.
Me, as I’m ignoring the menu in favor of reading our post about Prestier Pub and what we ordered on that visit: That’s odd, since you ordered those the last time.

Which is when we realized an unfortunate change in the past three years … pricing. Last time around Ted was able to add a second pork chop to his order for the bargain price of only $4. Now if you want to add another chop it will run you $8. Ouch.

Disappointment rounded the table after that, as Shane discovered while placing his order that Wednesdays are no longer 50 cent wing nights. He had to take a moment to rethink his strategy after that news. He ended up with the meatball pizza, which was on the specials menu for the evening. Because that’s similar. But it is pizza, so not all that much of a shocker.

If it looks like pizza, it usually ends up in front of Shane

Cassi also got the meatball pizza. Both of them gave it a thumbs up. No “top 5” lists were mentioned, so it wasn’t one of the more memorable ones – but it did have good flavor.

Take two

Jason got a burger, which he liked, and wings, which he didn’t. He said they tasted like chicken tenders thrown in some sauce. I’m not really sure what else they’re supposed to taste like, but apparently this was not what he was expecting.

Ignore the wings in the foreground. They aren’t worth your time.

I win the healthy dish award for this week (something we don’t actually give out, but considering the wealth of fried food that usually adorns our table and the state all of our arteries are probably in at this point, might be a good idea), going with the steak stir fry and a side salad. Wait – is it still considered healthy if it’s a giant portion? I vote yes, but whatever.

An unusual sight at our table

So green and non-fried

Anyway, it was really good. The steak was very tender and flavorful. And as mentioned already, very filling.

Ted did in fact order the mango habanero pork chop – only one, because, well, $8 is a whole other meal – which he said later that he wasn’t sure how to rate. To quote Shane, if you have to think about it, it wasn’t that good.

That one chop looks so lonely

And I think that’s a lesson we could actually utilize for this place in general. Being that it took three of us a good few minutes to realize we actually had been there in the past (and it wasn’t really until I looked up the post that I think Ted and Shane truly believed me) that says something about the impression that was left on us the last time. Or maybe it was just because we couldn’t see very well on our last visit, thanks to the unlit patio. But in any case, I’m not sure that this one will top the list of intentional revisits, unless another name change tricks us into returning. Although our detour to a nearby gas station on the way home led us past a very shady modular-home-with-deck-lights-and-neon-beer-signs-in-window-that-may-or-may-not-be-a-public-or-private-bar that of course Shane declared we were coming back to someday (sidebar: no, we aren’t) so that alone may be the number one reason why we remember this particular evening out at Meyer’s Landing. We may have to flip a coin on which place we actually choose to walk into first.

Picked by: Cassi

Ted

Steph

Shane

Jason

Cassi

WTGW 5/2/18: REVISIT – The Twisted Olive, Green

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When Northeast Ohio graces you with a summerlike evening in early May – bonus points for it being on a Wednesday – you go in search of the best patio you can think of first and ask questions later.

Well, I mean, OK, yes – we did ask one question, which was, of course, “which one should we go to.” As cool as it would be, we all didn’t just look at each other and telepathically infer one particular patio we should visit. Although I think that approach might’ve been easier than us attempting to remember the best area patios in the ten minutes before we walked out the door. Crazy how we can visit so many restaurants, but ask us for a recommendation for a specific type of place – because, I mean, you would think a group of people who go out every week to different places would be good folks to know these types of things – but instead suddenly our memories empty and we become deer in headlights.

Try it the next time you see us.

In any case, Ted finally stepped up to the plate and decided on a revisit to The Twisted Olive – which we all agree does have one of the best patios in the area, albeit a little fancier fare than our usual WTGW options. And it’s been a hot minute – or I guess really about two years worth of hot minutes – since our last visit so it was definitely worth another try.

We requested patio seating when we arrived (duh), and ended up on the downstairs patio this time round, as the hostesses mentioned that the upstairs one “wasn’t full,” but that the server was “a bit overwhelmed.” Um, OK. I’m not sure what that means exactly, but if it means we’ll get better service on a different patio then I’m all for it.

By the end of the night I think we all agreed that hadn’t exactly been the case, but I’m getting ahead of myself here.

Also, side note – does a place really need three hostesses for a Wednesday night? I mean, I get a weekend. And sure, it was probably a bit busier than usual with the summery weather. But three? Seems maybe the extra person might’ve been better served assisting the overwhelmed server on the upstairs patio, but what do we know.

Anyway.

Turns out that the downstairs patio doesn’t have quite the view of its upstairs sibling. I mean, for one, it’s not elevated at all – so instead of being able to overlook the water and nature area that are behind the restaurant, you kind of just get a lateral view of it. And, spoiler alert, it’s not all that enticing. It’s kind of like having dinner at that friend’s house who has a really nice backyard.

And then also because, well, its literally beneath the upper patio. So instead of truly dining outside, it was more like we just kind of ended up hanging out in an Italian garage. Awesome.

Although mental note to keep this option in mind for those evenings when the temperature is decent and you’d really love to sit outside, but are deterred thanks to the threat of a random passing rain shower.

So there’s that.

We remembered The Twisted Olive being on the fancier end of things from the last time we visited – which we all know equates to lesser amounts of food arriving on your plate in a fancifully arranged way. So as we were looking over the menu I pulled up the post from our 2016 visit to take a look at what we’d ordered last time around.

Shane, moments before I read to him what he ordered at that visit: Oh, scallops, those look delicious.
Me, reading from the 2016 post: “… and then was instantly disappointed as soon as his plate was set in front of him. His comment after the server left was that he was waiting for someone else to walk up and bring him his main course instead of the appetizer portion.”
Shane: So maybe pizza then.

This blog clearly exists if for nothing else than to remind us of our previous dining mistakes.

While we waited on the jury to reconvene in the matter of our main meals, we of course opted for appetizers. Because, well, us. I mean, really. Like any explanation is needed.

Ted got the hummus. He said it was just OK. Probably because it came with salsa mixed in – which some might consider a bonus, but Ted clearly did not. I didn’t try it, but I agreed that it did seem to be a strange pairing. Also, a little warning next time maybe? But the veggies and chips were tasty.

Why is the hummus hiding behind salsa?

Cassi went with the calamari, which Shane had of course ordered on our last visit (surprise!) and seemed to be OK with. However, after careful consideration this time around we all agreed that the dish now seemed to have a special ingredient not mentioned on the menu … pine needles. Sounds weird, I know, but go ahead and order it, take one bite, and tell us we’re wrong about this. I dare you.

Maybe someone just rubbed an air freshener over it

Maybe we shouldn’t have said last time that it “there was really nothing special or different about the dish to distinguish it from any other place we’ve had it before.” I feel like the chef took that as a personal challenge to come up with something we definitely would remember. Too far, chef guy. Too far.

Shane and I won the app lottery with the loaded chips, though. No hidden pine needles or salsa in this dish. Just the right amount of delicious toppings.

There are chips under there, we swear

We also remembered from our last visit that the basket of complimentary rolls set on the table with the appetizers were one of our favorite things about The Twisted Olive. Too bad this time they rolled them in chicken wing grease and coasted them in finely diced onions before serving them.

I kid. They were exactly the same as the last visit. Thank god they didn’t go the “calamari challenge” route on those, or else I think Ted, Shane and I would’ve legit cried when we tried them. I think we all had like four each.

We may or may not have had two more baskets of these. Don’t judge.

For his meal, Ted got the Apple and Fig side salad to go with his crab cake sliders. He had the salad come out ahead of the sandwich. Or at least we think that’s what happened. We saw the server set it down, but then before I could pick up my camera to get a photo of it, it seemed to mysteriously disappear.

Perhaps they should’ve called it the “so good you’ll devour it in two minutes flat” salad

Clearly he hated it.

About two seconds after this photo he also used a piece of bread to clean all of the dressing remnants off the plate, which left it looking like it went through the dishwasher. I think the server was slightly surprised when he came around to collect plates and found a shiny clean one sitting in front of Ted.

Ted commented that he could order the full sized salad and have it be a filling meal. He also said he wasn’t exactly sure what all was in the dish, but it was good. So good, in fact, that he didn’t even take a sip of beer until the salad was gone. Which we all know is not how things operate in our group.

Shane: Something wrong with your beer there, buddy?

And then by the time his crab cake sliders arrived – which Ted had passed up on our last visit because they sounded like they would be too small and not filling enough – he said he was almost too full from his hummus salsa and salad to eat them. Seriously, what is happening here? What parallel universe are we living in where Ted leaves most of the fries on his plate and barely manages to eat two mini-sandwiches?

That wouldn’t be enough food without the other two courses already consumed

It’s like we hardly know this new person.

Cassi meanwhile also got the crab cake sliders, but because her app tasted like a Christmas tree and she skipped the invisible salad course, she was able to enjoy her entire meal. She got the mac and cheese as a side, and declared it delicious after just one bite. That’s high praise.

Shane said the sliders looked like baby sandwiches. I think that’s the idea, but good call.

Over on mine and Shane’s side of the table we had a little pizza party going, as we both went with that for our meals. Truth be told the two of us most definitely could’ve just shared one pie, but we all know by now how Shane feels about the notion of sharing food, so I didn’t even broach that topic.

Instead we each got one of the two pizzas on the menu with the word “Spicy!” next to them: the Twisted for me (pepperoni and banana peppers), and the Sicilian for Shane (sausage).

And when they arrived I suddenly had flashbacks of the great sheet pizza debacle of Belleria a few years back.

It actually looks bigger in person

They picked those banana peppers off the spicy tree for sure

Needless to say we each ended up taking several slices home. Well, I took several home. Shane took a few.

Something else Shane would’ve taken a few of were beverages, while we were still sitting at the table eating of course. But our server – you know, the one who was NOT supposed to be “a bit overwhelmed” – kind of seemed to forget about the world underneath the main patio, and was pretty much non-existent outside of dropping off plates at our table. Or miraculously whenever Ted’s drink was empty – which, as we’ve already established after the salad incident, wasn’t all that often.

I will say, though, that we were highly entertained by one of the other two tables seated in the underworld with us … three teacher-slash-moms who openly discussed their dating lives at a volume that might have been less obtrusive had there not been more than a few empty cocktail glasses on their table. The 35+ minute conversation about the merit of baths and showers was especially stimulating. We were all a bit sad to see them leave, although giggling quietly to ourselves was becoming increasingly difficult.

Cassi

Steph

Shane, whose rating is indicative of his lack of beer throughout the evening

Ted, who probably should’ve given a higher rating since his beer was full more often than anyone’s

 

WTGW 2/14/18: Eldorado’s Pizza Pub, Ellet

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Welcome to an exciting Valentine’s Day edition of WTGW.

Given the date, I figured I’d better pick a place that wouldn’t be full of date night couples for Valentine’s Day. So naturally a divey pizza pub seemed like a good choice, no?

Plus I wanted to reunite Ted with his forever love, cheese. Because that’s what friends do.

This is also kind of a revisit for Shane, Ted and me, since we’ve been to the Eldorados in Kent. Or, rather, the place forever known as the home of the gigantic Stromboli and the Judgey McJudgerson waitress that asked Amanda and me if we were “sure” we wanted to each order a large stromboli, but didn’t give us any indication that once they arrived we could pretty much split them with an entire small European country.

Not that I’m holding a grudge or anything.

I don’t think any of us realized until recently that there was another Eldorado’s location in Ellet. And apparently GoogleMaps doesn’t, either, since the address I put into the app didn’t match up to where we actually ended up. If we followed the directions we would’ve kept going on down the street … but the sign in front of the building tipped us off that maybe we should stop there. Nice marketing, sign guys.

Speaking of the building – it’s clear that this was once a Lawson’s convenience store. Because it’s always fun to eat dinner where the chip aisle used to be, right? Too bad they don’t serve Lawson’s chip dip at Eldorado’s, it could’ve all come full circle.

Anyway.

We sat down and were brought menus … and Shane gets the menu without the pizza page. That’s pretty much the very definition of irony.

The Wednesday special at Eldorado’s is a 10 inch pizza with one topping for $5. Not bad. Honestly, it’s been a bit since we visited the one in Kent, but the menu at this location seems bigger than the menu at that location. Because aside from pizza, stromboli, meatball subs and other Italian fare, they also serve up burgers, sandwiches and wings … all of which I don’t remember being available at the other location. Because it seems like part of the reason we haven’t been back in a few years is out of respect for Ted and his inability to order anything there without having to discard half of the meal that’s been tainted by cheese.

Needless to say Ted was ecstatic about this new development. And immediately offered up a trade for Shane’s pizza-less menu. Because if you’re ever asked the question “who goes into a pizza place and orders a burger and wings?” … well, the answer is Ted. Just FYI.

He got the Blazin burger – or, well, that was his name for it, the real title is Nuclear burger. Which is why the server was slightly flustered when trying to take his order. Food synonyms are confusing.

This is what a cheese-less pizza looks like in Ted’s world

He also got 12 of the Louisiana hot wings.

Pizza for the lactose intolerant?

I got the small Spicy Piggy Stromboli. Which is slightly embarrassing to say but sounds delicious when you read the description in the menu. I also heeded the lessons learned at the Kent location and only ordered the small. Sometimes we do pay attention, even when alcohol is involved.

Whoever came up with the sizing here still needs a lesson in portion control

Cassi got the Wednesday $5 pizza special with pepperoni and mushrooms.

Not so special Wednesday special

Shane got the meat sweats pizza. Or meat lovers. Whatevs. The server asked if he wanted the $5 special instead, but he was under too much pressure flipping through the menu to decide on toppings that he just stayed with his original. Plus he would’ve had to figure out an order of wings, too, because we all know a 10 inch pizza wouldn’t be enough for him. So he stuck with his original order. #firstworldproblems

That pepperoni is very symmetrical

Shane and I also ordered the sausage jalepeno bites as an app, while Cassi got the smothered tots.

I’ll be the first to admit that the sausage bites looked thoroughly disgusting when they arrived at our table. I think our initial reaction was like, oh, cool, someone cut up a hot dog and deep fried it. Scrumptious. But if you can get past the look of it, it actually tastes really good. It has the kind of spicy bite that sneaks up on you after you’re done chewing it. But in a good way. Trust me.

Winner of the “Don’t Judge a Book By It’s Cover” category

Cassi’s appetizer tots arrived with the rest of the meals. Because I guess if you want something to come out as an appetizer here you have to particularly specify that. I had said it when we ordered the sausage bites, more out of habit than anything else, but I guess the server didn’t take the hint on Cassi’s order. OK. To make matters worse, the tots were soggy and not good. Like I get that they’re smothered in a sauce, and the laws of physics state that crispiness will usually falter in that state. But maybe if they hadn’t spent some time hanging out under a heat lamp while the rest of the meals were cooking they might’ve arrived more resembling tots with sauce than just a pile of mush. As appetizing as that sounds.

These do taste as bad as they look

Maybe Table 6 visited this place before they started their “no heat lamps” policy. Or maybe that’s why they were supposed to be an appetizer. Tough call.

It’s also worth noting that we had like three different servers in the first 20 minutes of our visit. Like are they all just stopping by to gawk at the non-regulars, and then draw straws in the back to see who actually gets to wait on us? My favorite was the one who came over to specifically ask Cassi and me if we needed more drinks, since ours were about a quarter of the way to being empty … meanwhile after she walks away Shane holds up his completely empty glass that she totally overlooked. Whoops.

Ted said that sauce on his wings was good, but the actual wings were not, and may in fact be made from a rubber chicken instead of a real one. To clarify: we all witnessed a sort of reenactment of the dinner scene in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation while watching Ted try to chew his way through them. He calculated that it was approximately five minutes of chewing per wing. Which if he were to eat all 12, that would equal out to about an hour’s worth of mouth exercises just to complete his meal. So it was no surprise that he left most of them on the table.

Chalk up one point in the argument against ordering something non-pizza at a pizza place. Noted.

Although Ted did say that his burger was good. Shane also commented that it had his version of a perfectly toasted bun, which means that it was completely soaked in butter. So much so that you could see a visible line on the side of the bun. Mmmm, heart disease.

Shane might’ve had food jealousy at that point, if not for the fact that he was completely in love with his pizza. Like disgustingly in love. Fitting for Valentine’s Day, I guess. I’m glad as his wife I could introduce him to this new true love. To quote Shane: “it almost gives me a boner just looking at it.” Beause we all needed to know that, Shane. Sharing is caring, I guess. He then went on to say that the cheese alone almost pushed him over the edge. I feel like we all know a little too much about him now.

Meanwhile, since we’re sharing, Cassi said that her bottom was mushy. So there’s that.

My Stromboli was good … kind of. The dough was good, and it was brushed with a garlic butter that gave it a lot of flavor. But there wasn’t enough cheese – like Ted could’ve lived with this one, there was so little cheese – and the sausage was the exact same as what was in our app, so I was kind of over it by that point. I ended up picking a lot of it out just because I didn’t want any more.

Yes, I was full of sausage. Bring on all the jokes.

Meawhile Shane was still on the other side of the table raving loudly about his pizza. We felt like we should’ve given them some time alone.

I think it was in searching for an escape route from Shane and his new date that we discovered this apparently adults-only patio nearby:

So. Many. Questions.

Seems maybe someone has cracked the “hey, under-agers, just wait out on the patio and I’ll attempt to inconspicuously buy four rounds of drinks within five minutes and come out to deliver them to you. be cool” code?

We continued the dessert kick again this week, with an order of cinnamon bread. Which also suffers from the “tastes better than it looks” issue. I guess at least they’re consistent? In any case, it was just OK. Personally I thought it tasted more “burnt” than “cinnamon.” Picked the wrong crayon to color that one there, chef, but thanks for trying. But you definitely get a generous portion, although the less-than-stellar presentation could use some work.

Here’s your sheet pan of dessert bread. Enjoy.

And at least this server clarified Ted’s order with “you’re only getting one, right? Because it will be more than enough for the four of you.” Maybe she needs to go give lessons to the staff down in Kent.

Overall this Eldroado’s is a decent place. The people watching was great, especially on this particular holiday. Plus we got to watch something on TV that can only be described as “House Hunters for Camping.” Seriously. I have no idea what the real name of show is, I think that description gives you enough to go on. I guess that’s a new marker as to “you know you’re in a dive bar when …”

Picked by: Steph

Steph

Cassi

Bromance. At least he stepped away from the pizza long enough to take this photo

Ted

Eldorado's Pizza & Sports Bar Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

 

 

WTGW 12/27/17: Dewey’s Pizza, Fairlawn

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‘Twas the week between Christmas and New Years, and once again it’s Ted’s pick. And once again he takes us to a busy place near the mall in Fairlawn. Anyone remember last year when we tried visiting two different new places, only to find them both full of holiday celebrations .. and finally ending up at the all-you-can-eat sushi buffet down the road?

Yeah, you may not, because I didn’t write a post for that evening. Mainly because I couldn’t keep up with the guys filling their plates in their seemingly never-ending quest to be full of sushi.

So instead this year we get to witness their never-ending quest to be full of pizza. The only thing Shane may like more than sushi in this entire huge world of food.

Spoiler alert: at one point in our evening at Dewey’s our group of five adults had four pizzas and a calzone on the table in front of us. No, we don’t overindulge when we eat. No way.

And before anyone points it out, yes, we get the irony of Ted being the one to pick a place that specializes in things covered in or filled with cheese. He did this to us last year with Melt, too. I think it’s his way of keeping us on our toes. Or maybe we really are running out of places to pick after 3+ years of doing this.

Anyway.

The wait at Dewey’s actually wasn’t too long when we arrived, and I think the fact that we had to wait at all had more to do with us being a large group of five in a place that’s pretty small for a local chain restaurant. It’s set up pretty similar to the ones in the Cleveland area, but this one is kind of like dollhouse sized compared to their regular adult sizes.

I’m not sure why they have a bar at the back of this one, either. Seems like wasted space where they could’ve – I don’t know – put more tables. Or something. Just a thought. I mean, you only serve like six craft beers and some select wines, do you really need a horseshoe of barstools around the cooler? Are people seriously just saying “Hey, let’s pop into Dewey’s and get one of these six beers that I’ve really been craving today?” Or are there people out there who can’t enjoy alcohol and food unless they actually sit at a bar to partake in it?

So. Many. Questions.

On the topic of poor design … so originally our group ended up being crammed into a booth, I believe maybe just for the sake of seating us and getting our orders in since pizza can take a hot minute to prepare. Or maybe we looked like the type that would cause trouble in the waiting area if left alone for too long. Who knows. But I think as soon as the server heard our order of enough food to feed an entire youth football team, she knew this seating arrangement wasn’t going to be a good fit. Or rather a fit at all. Simple math tells you that four pizzas that are each 11 inches or larger do not fit on a booth table. Hell, we barely even fit in the booth ourselves – as it was Ted was moored to the end of the table by a single chair. We joked that he might have to set up his dinner on the stack of high chairs off to his right. Because that seems appealing.

It was also about a billion degrees in that corner. Or maybe it was just the body heat of all of us crammed in there. I mean, I appreciate a tropical island temperature as much as the next person, but not when I’m dressed for the -10 wind chill that is NE Ohio in late December.

In any case, we enjoyed our first round of beers on this, our own little tropical oasis, as well as mine and Cassi’s peppercorn ranch side salads that we ordered as appetizers. Or, rather, one large salad that we ended up splitting after the server suggested it would be cheaper for us to just to that than get our own individuals. Good call. I appreciate frugality. Especially when we’re on this tropical vacation and all.

I promise this is the last photo of anything healthy you’ll see on this post

Hey, a bigger table opened up! So what if maybe the server had to obviously stare down another large group, or inconspicuously whisper to them that they would offer up a handful of gift certificates to make them leave and make room or us, since the laws of physics weren’t going to allow us to eat in our current situation without one of us placing their meal on the floor. I can only say that I’m somewhat surprised we didn’t topple our current table as we all jumped to our feet at once as soon as another server arrived at our table and announced that we could move if we wished.

Let’s just say that was a true blessing, because this new, larger table still came close to almost causing one of us to eat out of our laps. I mean, we could probably create one of those math word problems just to figure out the exact size of our table (“If five people order four pizzas and they cover the entire width of the table, how large must the table and the pizzas be if the sizes can only be 11, 13 and 17 inches?”) But I don’t like math, so we won’t go there.

A nice feature of Dewey’s is that they have an entire menu of specialty pizzas, and you can split any pizza in half, no matter the size, so that you can try a few different specialty pizzas at once. Or plausabily split one pizza with a larger group who may disagree on what they want to order. But we wouldn’t know anything about that theory. Obviously.

So with all those options, it makes total sense that Ted got a full Don Corleone pizza. Just one kind for all 13 inches. No splitsville for him. At least he’s definitive.

Ted and his meat pie. Wait, that sounds bad

Jason got the half southwest BBQ and half Bronx Bomber. His was a 13 inch as well.

I guess I lied before. Here’s a few more vegetables.

Not wanting to play favorites on who would be his “food soul mate” for this trip, Shane chose half of his as the Don Corleone, and half Bronx Bomber. So if you’re following along, that’s half of half of Jason’s and half of Ted’s.

Wait, I think we’ve seen these already

Remember that whole thing I mentioned about being able to split pizzas when people at the same table want the same order?

This also explains why all of our pizzas look somewhat similar. Trust me, I’m trying to keep up, too.

Well, OK, so you can tell which one is Shane’s pizza because someone (read: me) convinced him to get the 17 inch. You know, the largest one. For himself.

This is what good wives do, people. Take notes.

Cassi got the 11 inch half porky fig and half caprice. Hers is the baby pizza on the table.

Look at all that cheese. It’s probably good this was on the complete opposite side of the table from Ted.

Meanwhile I got a calzone with pepperoni, mushrooms and banana peppers. Partially because even though – as I’ve already stated – I don’t do math, my numbers-hating brain could deduce that another pizza was not fitting on this table.

Still dough and cheese – just in a more compact form

We all agreed everything was good. Perhaps the best praise of the night was when Ted said it was “one of the better pizzas he’s ever had.” And that’s even with cheese, people. *gasp* Of course he had to refute the cheese comment by saying that there was so much meat on the pie and it pretty much overpowered anything else … so there’s that. Loopholes.

Although he later changed his story, and claimed this was actually “in his Top 5 pizzas.” Not that he really knows what other ones would be on that list, though, since we all know this isn’t exactly his favorite meal. Maybe he just felt like Shane shouldn’t be the only one holding court in the list market.

You can also judge our fondness for a place by how much we leave on our plates at the end of the night. In this case, all but one of us were all winners of clean plate awards for the evening. Jason was the first to finish his whole pizza. Cassi was going to save one slice of hers, but once Jason finished his off and there wasn’t going to be a take home box she just decieded to eat her last one and save the need. Ted also accepted the challenge and ate his whole pizza. But the last two slices were tough, and probably should’ve gone home with him.

Shane was the odd man out, taking four pieces of his pizza home for later. That couldn’t at all be because someone convinced him to get the larger size or anything. Nope.

It was about the time that they were clearing away our plates that I looked over and noticed another group of five at a table not far from us being delivered one 17 inch pizza for them all to share. Um, really? ONE pizza? They’re clearly amateurs.

I think the place has potential – but unlike the other Dewey’s up in Cleveland, this one seems pared down a little and definitely caters to the “we’re shopping at the mall and want pizza but not from the food court because I want to have a beer with it” crowd. The ambiance isn’t so great, either. Our tropical corner booth aside, it just seems a bit sterile and uninviting. There’s no memorable background music or sporting events on large TVs – and with a large open space that kind of makes it seem cavernous when it’s just snippets of conversations rising up to fill the air. It definitely has an air of “eat and get out,” not “hang out and have another beer” to it – which, again, is why the bar is a bit baffling. But the pizzas are good, and I would definitely think of them as an option for take out after a shopping trip or on the way home from work. Just don’t make me do the math to figure out how many will fit into my car comfortably.

Picked by: Ted

Ted

Jason

Cassi

Shane

Steph

 

 

WTGW 12/13/17: REVISIT – Pat Dee’s, Northfield

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In tonight’s episode of “let’s face intense weather conditions just to go out to a dive bar and enjoy food and drinks,” Mother Nature throws a giant snowstorm in our faces. So obviously we still are not friends.

For the record, I have to believe there are more subtle ways to remind us of this, but whatever.

In light of that, Shane was supposed to be choosing someplace close to home Which totally explains how we ended up in Northfield. Good call.

The last time we went to Pat Dees, Shane was working late so Ted and I drove separate and met him there, along with Amanda and Jerrid. That night there was a driving downpour rainstorm. So I guess the moral is that we can apparently only visit this place when some sort of precipitation is falling from the sky.

Which is also fun because each visit seems to bring a giant debate about how exactly we get inside the building. Because loitering around outside in rain and snow is a super fun way to start an evening. There’s a door at the very front of the building, and another hidden behind the covered patio that is hardly visible from the parking lot. Guess which was the right one?

I mean, why make it obvious.

The place also sort of resembles a house from the outside. What is it with Shane and these places?

Cassi, as we’re entering:  “Are we going to my Grandma’s house?”

And once we’re in, there’s everything from groups of people younger than us, to hard core drinking regulars, to families. OK then. The marketing slogan must be “something for everyone.”

Shane orders a rum and coke, Ted gets a Christmas Ale (after his usual dark beer inquisition) and Cassi and I get tequila and sodas. Hers arrived with the extra bonus of a dead fruit fly floating in the glass. Thanks for the extra free protein, but maybe ask next time before just assuming it’s what we wanted, k?

For apps it was breaded mushrooms for Ted and for Shane and me, with Cassi choosing tater tots.

Fried potato goodness

It’s still a vegetable, right?

The mushrooms were apparently cooked directly on the surface of the sun. I picked one up and promptly lost a layer of skin on my fingers. I then tried to caution Shane – since he usually needs his food of any kind to be chilled to almost ice cream level – but he was in the middle of a story and ignored my sign language warnings … so he ate one anyway.

I wish I had a picture of his face as that happened.

But regardless, no longer having taste buds didn’t deter us from ordering and eating enough food for us and our 15 imaginary friends.

I got the battered fish dinner, after debating between that and the corned beef. Truth be told I probably should’ve gone the other way. The fish was just OK. And I probably would’ve preferred real tarter sauce to the packets they provided me with. Because after the fruit fly incident, who knows how long those have been lying around.

Almost everything on that plate is the same color

I also remembered quickly what I didn’t like about our last visit to Pat Dees … the battered French fries. Because we need to make them more unhealthy?

Ted got 12 of the Cajun wings and a hamburger. The burger was average, according to Ted. I have to be honest that it looked a little less so from my side of the table – also especially considering what we ate on our last WTGW evening out. But he seemed happy enough with it.

Mmm, charcoal briquettes on a bun

The wings were another story, though, as he had ordered them “wet,” and they arrived actually as dry wings but covered in some sort of grease. Or maybe motor oil?

Thick, gelatinous liquid at the bottom of the basket is always a good sign, no?

Cassi got a pizza with pepperoni and mushrooms. She really liked it, and said that she thought the crust in particular was really good. Her only complaint was that the sauce was a bit too sweet, and there seemed to be too much of it on the pizza. How come there’s never too much of something we really like on pizza? Like cheese? I mean, just sayin.

Looks tasty

Shane also opted for pizza with pepperoni and mushrooms – and also added Italian sausage. He disagreed with Cassi’s observation that the sauce was too sweet, but agreed that it was pretty good overall.

The bigger one must be Shane’s

Side note – we later heard a new table behind us try to order a pizza and they were told the place ran out of pepperoni. I think we may need to take responsibility for that one.

Shane also got six garlic parm wings, a decision he regretted later not only because he was too full after eating only half of the pizza to even touch the wings … but, well, he realized there was some sort of science experiment happening with his wing basket about halfway through our meal.

I can feel my arteries hardening just looking at this

Seriously, what the hell is that?

It’s escaped, and it’s coming for us

Oh good, it hardened. That’s helpful.

By the time the server came over to see if we needed any boxes, Shane’s wings were pretty much glued to the table. She was slightly disapproving and judgemental about the grease slick when Shane pointed to it saying he needed a box.

Shane – it leaked
Server – Mmm hmm

Something tells me this isn’t the first time she’s seen this, so maybe she sould redirect that burning judgement to ownership in purchasing some heavier duty wing baskets.

So basically the moral here is that if you choose wings, you either get them in motor oil (Ted) or Crisco (Shane). Interesting flavor choices. I can see why they didn’t list them on the menu.

Ted, regarding the grease imprisionment of Shanes wings: Well, of all the places we’ve been we can say weve never seen THAT before.

True story.

So basically the consensus is that Pat Dee’s wasn’t our favorite place the first time around, and it’s still holding court at that spot now after a revisit. I’m not exactly sure what Shane was remembering that made him want to return. Maybe he found another door somewhere to a better place?

Picked by: Shane

Rockstar Shane

Ted

Cassi

Steph

 

 

WTGW 11/22/17: REVISIT – Mike’s Place, Kent

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This year’s Night Before Thanksgiving visit comes to us courtesy of the motto “safety first,” lest we try a new place and have another Shane food poisoning incident like the Thanksgiving of 2014. *shudder*

And what better safe bet to go with than Mike’s Place in Kent. Good call, Ted. I mean, they do quite literally have a litte bit of everything. Breakfast all day? Sure – do you want pancakes, waffles, eggs, or bacon? In the mood for sandwiches? They have about 75. Dinners? Yep, pick anything from Italian to Chinese to Southern BBQ. Really craving something you once had at Applebee’s? It’s probably the dish labeled “I Stole This Item From a Chain Restaurant.” I mean, I can’t say 100%, but that’s how I read that one anyway.

It’s also one of those places we could probably come to every night for an entire year and still not order every single item on the menu. I mean, take a look online. It’s like a short novel. I think I’ve read Cliff’s Notes booklets with fewer words. I honestly don’t think I’ve even read the whole thing yet. It’s like at some point you have to just kind of find something you like and stick with it, or else three hours later you’ll still be reading. And hungrier.

Although we did notice that they changed the menu since our last visit in the summer of 2015. Well, I mean, they changed the layout anyway. If they added or deleted anything we’d never know. Because rest assured it still has just as many words. You know there’s a lot to choose from when we all go silent for about 15 minutes just trying to figure out what we want to order.

To that point, our server comes back over like 10 minutes after we sit down and asks if we need more time before we order. Um, that’s a giant hell yes. Who doesn’t? Come on. I was barely past the appetizers.

At least the drink menus were easy to decipher. Ciders all around except for Ted, who had to quiz the server on nitro taps and other fancy sounding things before he could determine which beer he wanted to order.

He was very confident about his appetizer choice, though, announcing to the table that he’s ordering the “pound of chips.” Hmm, any guesses on what that entails, exactly? I mean, way to beat around the bush on that title.

But then they arrived.

Do they count the basket and sauce cup in the weight?

Is it just us, or did that name lead to a far more impressive picture in your head than this? Me thinks the scale might be broken at your place, Mike. But kudos on the marketing genius in your naming. Sold us.

We all ended up with side salads, either as a side option to our meal, or because we were trying to keep up at least a facade of somewhat healthy eating on the eve of the biggest food holiday of the year. Well, everyone except Ted, who shunned the salad in favor of enjoying a lovely cup of applesauce instead. Mmmmm.

It’s so dainty

Also note that in the background of my salad photo you can clearly see Shane slathering his healthy salad in completely unhealthy blue cheese dressing. Because, Shane.

Which of these would you rather eat?

While I’d like to blame our ordering of enough food for an army on our indecision over the novel of a menu … but who am I kidding. You all know by now that this is just something we do. Well, I mean, as long as there’s more than two items on the menu to choose from anyway.

Sorry Shane, that still hasn’t gotten old.

Anyway, my point is that when the server arrived with our meals of course there wasn’t enough room on the table for all of the plates, so Ted tried to be helpful by removing the tiny cup that had held his applesauce. Because that was what was holding things up for sure. Especially when he was then was given a similar sized cup of cole slaw. Fail.

Ted and his collection of tiny cups

Ted’s main meal was the ribs and chicken dinner – which is a half rack of ribs and a few pieces of chicken. He ate it all, and said he was “very full” by the time we left. Must’ve been all that applesauce and cole slaw.

Shane’s favorite part of Ted’s meal was his moist towelettes, which he insisted he had to have a photo with.

Shane would like to remind everyone about the importance of having MOIST towelettes at the table

Did we mention MOIST?

Anyway.

Shane ordered six of the Italian parm wings and the blue bomber burger. And of course that side salad.

That’s a knife in the top of the burger, in case you’re wondering

He said the burger wasn’t so great. It was OK, but a little well done for his taste – and he had specified medium rare. Apparently whoever cooks the burgers also measures the chips?

But at least the other half of his meal – the wings – were excellent. I tried one of them, too, and agreed that they were delicious. The sauce was like Italian dressing with parm cheese – which I guess makes sense given the that they are Italian parm wings – but, you know, we’ve been burned on names already so given the chip debacle these could’ve come out slathered in BBQ sauce for all we knew. But it was a nice change from the usual garlic parm sauce that most every win place offers.

These might’ve been some of the most flavorful wings I’ve ever tasted

Cassi ordered the pierogis and an 8-slice pizza, proclaiminig that if she didn’t finish it all then she would take it home to Jason.

Shane, upon hearing her order: Huh, I don’t think I’ve ever tried the pizza here. That’s odd.
The rest of the table, all of our readers, and pretty much anyone who knows Shane: Huh, yeah, I agree, that is odd.

Turns out he must’ve somehow known to stay away, since Cassi proclaimed the crust to be “doughy.” Which is pretty much the only kind of pizza crust that Shane doesn’t enjoy. Shane’s psychic powers are strong when it comes to food sometimes.

Looks better than it tastes apparently

She did say that the pierogis were good, though. Guess what Jason isn’t getting in his leftover package.

Little pillows of happiness

I got the Mucho Meat Melt sandwich – which of course made everyone laugh when I ordered it, because we’re 12. It was just OK. There was almost too much going on there – between the pepperoni, salami, and actual cut links of Italian sausage. Unlike the pound of chips, the name of this sandwich was about as true as you could get. It was more than enough food to make me full, and I didn’t even finish all of it.

I know, there’s a joke in there. I’m not missing it, I’m just choosing to ignore it.

My knife is a little less strategically placed

Overall we’ll all agree that Mike’s is a great place. It’s a great place to take guests or large groups, since there will always be something for everyone on the menu. Can’t decide between sandwiches, wings, BBQ, Italian or Chinese? Yeah, its all here. We joked that we could start a whole other evening out just going there once a week and trying something new. Mike’s Place Mondays? Maybe I should register the website now just in case.

Picked by Ted

Ted

Shane

Cassi

Steph