WTGW 12/26/18: The Crazy Chicken, Green

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So Shane and I literally drive past this place at least once a month, but somehow we missed the moment when it magically changed names from Tommy Li’s to The Crazy Chicken.

I mean, they sound so similar I can see how we missed this.

Anyway.

Seems the new name hasn’t exactly brought in the crowds, though, because despite a combination of being there in time for Happy Hour and also on wing night, we were only one of about a handful of tables in the entire place. I mean, I get that it’s a Wednesday night and it’s also the day after Christmas, so maybe people are still home gorging themselves on leftover ham and not particularly craving chicken?

We’ll go with that.

Given that there weren’t many of us there, it seems logical that they would sit the group of five of us in a booth. Because that’s always super comfortable given the amount of food we order. Guess in this case our reputation definitely did not precede us.

We didn’t complain, though, because as I mentioned we actually made it there in time for Happy Hour – so therefore getting settled in time to order a few rounds of drinks and cheap apps took precedence over everything else. I mean, when you can get a draft domestic beer, a order of egg rolls and an order of crab Rangoon for a grand total of $7.50, you jump on that.

Clearly we have our priorities in proper order.

Also, you may be asking yourself – wait, what’s this with egg rolls and crab Rangoon, at a place called The Crazy Chicken? Yeah, we kind of were, too. The menu reads similar to our amazing sushi and pub pick from almost a year ago with an interesting mix of Asian and American cuisine.

We’re all a bit shocked Ted didn’t discover this place before Shane.

In any case, we ended up with two orders of crab Rangoon – one for me and Shane, and one for Cassi and Jason.

Winner winner chicken dinner. Or something like that.

Wait, make that three orders – Cassi took one bite of theirs and decided they needed another order before the special pricing ran out. Because nothing says “I’m not sharing” like immediately ordering another plate.

Shane and I also got an order of chips and salsa. Because why not throw some Mexican food into the mix, too, right?

Of course we order the most non-Asian thing on the menu

Ted got the edamame. I’m not sure I realized that until it arrived and I asked what the hell was so garlicky that I was smelling. Shane – who was seated right next to it – immediately outed Ted’s food as the reason we would be vampire-free for the evening.

Several cloves of garlic were harmed in the making of these

As mentioned, Wednesdays are wing night, which meant regular wings were 77 cents each. On any other night you can get 5 for $4.99, which works out to about 99 cents each. Or 5 boneless for $3.99. Wait, what? How does that work out? Usually those are more expensive.

Maybe that’s why this place is so “crazy.”

The guys sort of ordered wings as appetizers, since they also got full sandwich meals along with their wing orders. Or at least that was the explanation we gave ourselves when the wings were the first things to show up at the table after the real apps.

Cajun dry rub for Ted

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen garlic parm as a cream sauce before, but OK.

Honey mustard for Jason

Never mind that Cassi and I had ordered side salads. I mean, those must be really complex to put together compared to running a deep fryer? Seems that way, as a full 10 minutes after the wings arrived we finally were served our plates of lettuce and assorted other plain vegetables.

Well this looks like something I could make at home

Cassi declared them the “saddest looking salads ever,” due mostly to the fact that they were missing the cheese. She definitely remembered reading on the menu that there would be cheese.

Jason: I think Ted ordered no cheese for the entire table, sorry.

Dammit, Ted.

At least the wings made up for it. I got 5 of the Cajun dry rub and 5 of the whisky glaze. Cassi had 10 of the boneless Asian. The consensus of the entire table was that the wings were very good. They were decent sized, and the various flavors were all what we were hoping for. Personally I thought that the Cajun dry rub had a bit more spice than I was expecting – not in a bad way, but typically those aren’t overly spicy. Meanwhile Ted, who ordered the same kind, thought otherwise. Clearly our taste buds are not soulmates.

Dry rub and not dry rub

And the chicken minus bones

It wasn’t long after mine and Cassi’s wings came out that they brought the burgers and sandwiches that rounded out our meals.

This included a Black and Blue burger for Shane, which is a burger topped with bleu cheese and bacon.

There seems to be a lot going on there

Jason got the Crazy burger. What makes it crazy, you ask? Well I’m not really sure, because the description just says it includes a fried egg and bacon. See also: the same burger that one or another of us has ordered at other restaurants under the name breakfast burger, sunrise burger, burger with fried egg. But, sure, crazy works, too.

Watch out, it’s getting crazy up in here

And Ted got the Western chicken sandwich, which was chicken topped with onion straws, bbq sauce, yum yum sauce – oh, and bacon, because apparently everything under a bun here includes that as a staple condiment. OK.

This looks easy to eat, no?

When he placed his order, Shane made sure to ask how the burgers were cooked. The server said they always cook the burgers medium well, but could specifically do something different if asked. Seems reasonable. And of course Shane said he’d like his medium rare.

Yeah, it still came out with zero pink in it, so clearly we need a refresher course in the various stages or meat cooking. But good thing he said something or else it probably would’ve been charbroiled.

Even so, it was still deemed good. The only regret Shane had in ordering it was that it was the only item on our bill over $10. If it had tasted bad he really would’ve been sorry about that, but being that it was good he didn’t think about it too much.

For as much as we complained that our server didn’t seem to be moving too fast when we sat down – which of course we thought would be hampering our ability to order as much as we wanted at the happy hour pricing – it all turned out OK. She even put my last martini in at the $5 price, even though I’m sure it was ordered well after the time frame.

All in all, a delicious meal in a very non-presumptuous space. The service was good, there are plenty of TVs around the space if you’re looking to watch a game, and drinks were well poured – and cheap, if you make it for happy hour, anyway. While the menu is an interesting mix of bar food and Asian influence, somehow it works – maybe because everything we tried tasted really good.

Shane was shocked when Cassi admitted she really liked this place, as usually she’s not a fan of his picks. Maybe it was because this one had more than two things on the menu? Just a thought.

Picked by: Shane

Shane

Steph

Cassi

Jason

Ted

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WTGW 12/19/18: Bison Street Burgers and Brews, Massillon

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Our trek to Bison Street Burgers and Brews began by driving for about a year and a half to get to the place, between Ted’s directionally challenged map advisor and the fact that this is pretty much the other side of the world from our house. The final leg of the drive also involved meandering through some residential neighborhoods – thanks for the holiday light displays, people of Massillon – so of course we were totally convinced that this week’s pick would actually end up being at someone’s house.

I joke because it’s happened before. Ok, well not really, but this certainly isn’t the first time we’ve had these thoughts.

Finally we’re here! And it’s not a house!  Yeah, no, instead it’s some giant building that looks like it should be a commercial trucking company or pool chemical distributor.

Welcoming. Where have you brought us, Ted?

There’s also some sort of strange maze of concrete pilons all over the parking lot. Seems an odd choice for a place that advertises “brews” in the name, no? Is this their version of sobriety testing before you can head home?

If not for the giant banner on the side of the building announcing “Now open to the public!” we may have second guessed this choice, cut our losses, and tried to find our way back to civilization before searching out some food and drinks.

Thankfully we all had our adventurous pants on this evening, and ventured ahead into the mysterious giant building.

And – spoiler alert – we were not at all sorry. This place is definitely a hidden gem. Emphasis on hidden.

The inside of Bison St made us all think perhaps the place used to be a private club of some sort – you know, Eagles, Moose, Lions, whatever animal seemed to be a good name for a club that popped up in pretty much every small town in Ohio at one time or another. It’s a giant room, with a decent sized bar at one side and tables throughout. Also, lighting. Which sounds strange to say, but given the darkness we’ve eaten in over the past few weeks it was actually kind of nice to be able to see our food for a change.

Given the name of the place, of course we all ordered beers with our meals. I had just gotten home from a quick overnight work trip to NYC – which of course involved personal challenges to close down bars that stay open until 4AM – so alcohol was about the furthest thing from my mind. And then naturally I ordered a Christmas Ale. Logical, I know.

Our server came over and let us know that all of the apps were half off. I can’t remember if this was because it was Wednesday or because we were there during happy hour, though, so don’t quote me on being able to get this special ever again. Did I mention I didn’t get much sleep the night before?

There were two apps that weren’t part of the special – the loaded fries, and something called The Titan, which turned out to be a giant one pound pretzel. We saw one of these delivered to a nearby table before we placed our orders, and we can vouch that it is aptly named. But we didn’t order it – because, hello, there were a wealth of other items to choose from that sounded just as delicious but were part of whatever special we were told about.

Frugality is a strong point of this group. You should know this by now.

Speaking of things you should know by now, Cassi and Jason ordered the fried pickles as their appetizer. Ted also decided to get his own order as well.

Where did they find such skinny spears?

Shane and I opted for the cream cheese poppers, because they sounded delicious. And also the onion rings, because after the special they were $2. I mean, seriously.

Why don’t we order these more often?

Definitely not from the same “small veggie” garden that the pickles are grown in

Perhaps because we’ve been slacking on our normal menu inquisition of our dear servers, we decided to try our luck on that line of questioning again this time. To which we were greeted with the time-honored and oh-so-helpful answer of “everything.”

Uh oh. We’ve been down this road before.

But then she mentioned that the place is known for its burgers – which, come on, you’re not really going out on a limb with that one considering it’s in. the. name. of. the. establishment. – and also the gourmet grilled cheeses. OK, now we’re getting somewhere.

Then she went on to say that the flatbreads are also good. And that the Cowboy burger is the best seller.

OK, we get it. Just stop before you creatively manage to reinforce your initial statement about everything on the menu being worth ordering.

Have we mentioned The Titan yet? Yeah, well, so did she. We’re beginning to be sorry we asked.

Hey, Ted managed to pick one of the few items on the menu that the server didn’t point out! He chose the strip steak with mashed potatoes, claiming he had been having recent cravings for a good steak.

Obviously he was also having cravings for just food in general, since Ted literally didn’t speak to the group the entire time he was eating. It was like we weren’t even there. At one point I think the other four of us actually stopped eating so that we could just watch him clean up every morsel of food on any plate that was in front of him.

It wasn’t until the server arrived to take the plates from the table that he seemed to look up and realize he was among a group and could rejoin us again.

So clearly he hated it.

I’m surprised I was able to get a photo of this before it disappeared

I kid. He said that it was delicious, and actually it was one of the better steaks he’s had in some time. The meat wasn’t overly seasoned, but because it was cooked to perfection it had a ton of flavor.

It wasn’t until he paid it the highest compliment of saying he liked it “as much, if not a lot more” than that infamous steak special at the Dougout that Shane’s ears perked up.

I already see a revisit, just so Shane can order this entree and try it for himself.

Jason got the aforementioned Cowboy Burger, and also an order of Coney dogs. The server explained – probably as she realized Jason was essentially ordering two full meals just for himself – that the Coney dogs weren’t anything to sneeze at, the order was actually two large-ish dogs and a full order of fries. So, yeah, a crapload of food.

But hey, he still went for it. Because when have statements like these really ever stopped us? It’s more like a challenge.

And clearly she doesn’t read this blog.

Plus Cassi stepped up to say that she would eat some of the fries. This is how marriages succeed, people.

The one stipulation was that she needed to be able to get a side of beer cheese to dip the fries in. And while what showed up wasn’t quite the swimming pool’s worth of melted goodness that arrived on the table at that place in Barberton, it was definitely close.

Maybe it’s a good thing Ted never looked up long enough to see this giant bowl of cheese?

The Coney dogs turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. They definitely looked better than they tasted – which seems to be an oxymoron of a statement all on its own, being that Coney dogs are made to look like a bit of a hot mess on a bun – so I guess what you can read into that is that we were all far more excited to see them arrive on the table than Jason was to eat all of them. Jason said they weren’t horrible, per se, but mainly that the chili was too sweet.

Proof that looks can be deceiving

I mean, he still he still ate everything, though, so take that as you will. He just thought maybe the value was more at a $3 level instead of the $5 they charged.

Yes, this is the level we’ve hit, folks. You know you’re pro when you can play The Price is Right with menu items.

Lest you think fries with cheese sauce were Cassi’s only source of nourishment for the evening, she also got the half pesto flatbread and six spicy garlic boneless wings. And it only took about a bite and a half of each one before she said she wished she had nixed the flatbread and just gotten a double order of wings. The wings were small, but the flavor was outstanding … while the flatbread was the exact opposite of both of those things

But at least it’s pretty?

I think Cassi wished this was one of those never ending baskets

Because I apparently wasn’t paying attention during the part of the evening when we realized that the server was going to be not helpful in the least when it came to decision making, I pushed my luck and inquired which was better: the Philly grilled cheese or the Ranch burger made with Bison meat.

I bet you already can’t guess how influential this was to my decision.

So I chose the burger … at which point Shane says “hey, you know what? we always get burgers when we go out. maybe you should try something new.” … so I crossed back over into the grilled cheese camp.  And vowed to Shane that if my meal sucked I was holding him personally responsible.

This is also how marriages succeed. We should totally teach a course.

What was that we said about looks being deceiving?

I’m glad to say Shane was allowed to live, because my meal didn’t suck … but it also wasn’t so great that I didn’t kind of still half wish I’d ordered the burger instead. It’s like the Sliding Doors of food orders. The sandwich was just OK. It was made from braised short rib – which the server did tell me going into the order, so I wasn’t expecting processed Philly steak like other sandwiches. Maybe that’s why I had higher expectations. And, I mean, it tasted good … but it just wasn’t at the top of the list of the best things I’ve ever eaten.

Maybe it was the sourdough bread, which usually I love but in this case just didn’t seem to go with the sandwich.

Thumbs way up on the fries, though. I got the steak fries (compared to the rest of the table’s fresh cut) and was not disappointed there.

Shane got the Flaming Hot Burger, which he wasted no time in exclaiming how amazing it was. Per the previous few paragraphs, I wasted no time in not pretending that didn’t annoy me at least a little bit.

I like that they hide the hot peppers under a sheet of cheese. Tricky.

Mine and Shane’s bill was $35, which got us two appetizers, two Bud lights for Shane, one Christmas ale for me (which was the Beer of the Month, so cheaper than usual), and two full meals – of which I ended up taking half of my sandwich home, probably thanks to the two apps worth of fried stuff we started out the meal enjoying. Not too shabby at all.

Plus the place had a cool atmosphere on the inside – and despite the fact that the server wasn’t the best at giving solid recommendations, the service was great. I mean, it’s better when the server can’t decide what to recommend because she honestly loves everything they make, and not because she doesn’t care or hasn’t been there long enough to have really even opened a menu.

I could definitely see us making a return visit to Bison St. Especially after we noticed on our way out that there seems to be a fairly large covered patio area outside, so it will be interesting to see if they have bands there, or just make it into a cool outdoor area for the summer. It only it weren’t over the river and through the woods away from our house … but at least in the summer it stays light out longer, so maybe it won’t feel like midnight before we even make it into the concrete-hazard-laden parking lot. Can y’all leave the Christmas lights up for us?

Picked by: Ted

Ted

Shane, decked out in his holiday finest

Steph

Jason

Cassi – up for wings, down for flatbreads

WTGW 12/12/18: Block 7 Bar & Grille, Barberton

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OK, here it is – the pick we’ve waited two weeks for. So, I mean, no pressure or anything, but this better be good.

Although in the interim we ended up realizing a place nearby had really good food, and rediscovering that Tim’s is still some of the best pizza around … so I guess those weeks count for something. But still.

So of course we were totally pumped when we walked into Block 7 Bar & Grille … and were greeted with almost total silence. Like we weren’t sure for a moment that the place was even open because we were literally the only people in the entire restaurant. Well, I mean, aside from the bartender, and someone I can only presume to be the cook who was sitting at the end of the bar talking with her until we sat down – because he then disappeared.

Sweet. At least the service should be good?

Sadly, with our group it seems even this isn’t a guarantee.

*sigh*

We were even more surprised to find out that Wednesdays are wing nights – all bone-in wings are 49 cents each – so yeah, still unclear on this whole empty restaurant thing. Does all of Barberton know something we don’t?

Maybe it’s that Block 7’s real name should more appropriately be “Ice Block,” or “7 Degrees from Freezing,” because that’s how we were feeling for the majority of our visit. When even the guys don’t want to take their coats off you know we’ve reached frigid levels. I mean, I get that business isn’t exactly booming – but maybe account for the lack of bodies in the place by turning the heat up just a smidge so we actually want to stay a while, no?

Instead we just started ordering up the alcohol. Which come to think of it may be a solid business tactic for them also, so kudos on that.

The guys went with beers, while I got a spiked peach drink from their cocktail menu that was their own specialty – and it was very tasty. I would definitely get it again.

Meanwhile Cassi asked the server about drink prices and was told that a tequila and soda was “probably around $6.00.” Huh. OK. That’s helpful. I take it no one ever orders those here?

Also helpful, on about our second or third round of re-orders the server finally mentioned that they have “those White Claw spiked selzers, and they’re only $3.25, if that’s of interest to you.” It’s like we said some code word and graduated to some sort of secret level of alcohol allowance. Thanks?

Hey, remember how we were cold? Well, Cassi and Jason’s fried pickle appetizer helped warm things up a little bit, since taking a bite of each of those little spears of fire pretty much raised the body temperature about 15 degrees.

Tiny delicious hand warmers

Ted tried one and had to blow on it for like 10 minutes before he could take a second bite. But at least they were better than the breading disaster that was Dilly D’s, so that made it worth the lost layers of skin.

Shane and I ordered the southwestern egg rolls, which arrived slightly less than a billion degrees – but no less tasty. The chipotle ranch dipping sauce was spicy but not overwhelming, and the rolls themselves were nice and crispy without being burnt. Score.

You could pretty much put anything in an egg roll wrapper and I would call it delicious

Hey, look, another couple has joined us in the bar for dinner. Just when we were getting used to having the whole place as our own personal dining room. Hopefully this means the service won’t diminish?

Spoiler alert: it would. There was a time later in the evening where I was basically slurping my empty drink through my straw in a not-so-subtle just universally recognized attempt to get the bartender to realize I needed another drink … yeah, nothing. Oh well.

So since it was wing night, I bet you can’t guess what we all ordered? Yeah, we aren’t predictable or anything. I mean, I’ll admit, I was torn between a burger and the wings. Because, again, that never happens. We also never go places that only have those two things on the menu, either.

Never. Gets. Old.

So I got both. I mean, if you’ve learned nothing from this group, it’s that anything that can be considered an appetizer, including things that normally are classified as meals.

Trendsetters, we are. I know.

And I wasn’t the only one to be torn on this decision – in fact, Shane was the only one out of the five of us tonight to actually ONLY get wings, and no other food. But he did get 20 wings – 10 mango habanero, 5 Cajun and 5 honey mustard – so I guess that counts for something.

Shane’s side of the table

I got the mushroom Swiss burger and 5 of the lemon pepper wings. Plus the server said I could add “a handful” of fries for only $1.00 – and who would pass up that bargain? Not me.

There are five there, I swear

Um, the burger doesn’t seem to fit the bun. This is a problem.

Although I would later regret that fry option – as would Cassi – when our handful of fries proved to have been sitting under the heat lamps since about the last time a customer was probably in the building, while Jason was served up a nice piping hot fresh batch. Favorites, much?

Can we trade ours in for these, please?

Cassi had wanted to get the Block burger, but said it sounded like a heart attack on a plate so she decided against it. The description actually reminded me of the Romanburger from Mr. Hero – which I’ve always thought to be delicious, back from the times growing up when that particular fast food was considered a special “dining out treat” by my parents. Thanks for the risk of early heart disease, Mom and Dad. No wonder I feel the need to overindulge on salads in my adult years.

But I digress.

Cassi ended up bypassing the heart attack burger (see what I did there?) and ordering the mushroom Swiss burger – with a special addition of carmelized onions – along with 5 of the sweet and spicy wings.

Hey look, more wings! Do they all look the same yet?

Jason decided on the Shirley burger, plus 5 of the teriyaki wings and 5 of the sweet and spicy wings.

Shurely you have some cheddar cheese on your burger

Ted, meanwhile, ordered like four meals, which was apropos considering we’d just had a conversation about his tendency to do so. He got the chicken Caesar wrap, along with three sets of wings – spicy glazed, sweet and spicy, and Cajun.

Ted’s wings. I’m not sure I want to know just how many chickens had to die just for our table alone.

I’m also fully aware that I think I missed getting pictures of some of the wings. Sorry. They just kept showing up at our table, it was a little difficult to keep up.

With all this talk of wings, you’re probably wondering what the scale of hotness is, no? Well, we were, and since this is our blog we’re going to talk about it, so you can just scroll along if you don’t care. We actually asked the bartender, because the menu listing and the names didn’t seem to give any clear indications on what order they should fall. Well except the Blazin’ – as expected, that’s the hottest. Then the spicy glazed, then mango habanero to round out the top three. And the spicy sweet is supposed to be more sweet than spicy, so maybe they need to rethink the order of those words in the name there.

End PSA. You’re welcome.

All of the wings came out first, so I guess we were thinking correctly when we said they would be our second course of appetizers.

And yes, that could totally be a thing. Remember, trendsetters.

We were all really happy with the wings. All of the various sauces were delicious, and the wings were pretty large for being on special at only 49 cents each. We’ve paid more for much smaller at other places.

That’s what she said. Sorry, I couldn’t help it.

But definitely, if you go to Block 7, the wings are the way to go. I don’t think any of us had a sauce we didn’t like, and they were definitely filling.

The burgers, on the other hand, were disappointing. Especially in comparison to the wings. I ended up eating mine without the bun because the bread was pretty plain – and there was far more of it than there was burger – but even so, the patty, while seasoned, just didn’t seem to have much taste to it.

Cassi disagreed with me, she thought the burger was good. But she also admitted that she usually only eats boneless wings, so she was less thrilled with the wings than the rest of the table.

On the non-burger front, Ted’s aversion to cheese finally proved problematic in his eyes, as apparently in this restaurant saying “no cheese” also causes the cook to omit the dressing. And when you take the dressing out of a Caesar wrap, you pretty much just have … well … a tortilla filled with chicken.

I’m craving a giant glass of water just writing that.

That looks … plain

Good thing all of his wing orders meant he had about 16 ranch dressing cups sitting on the table that he could use to help him out … but even so, it was a bit of a struggle to get through.

He did it, though – along with 13 of his 15 wings. And then said he pretty much didn’t think he needed to eat again until next Wednesday.

Meanwhile Shane was proud of himself for only ordering wings, after hearing all of us talk about how much we preferred them to the other options on the table. He ended up finishing off 19 of his 20 wings. He tried to do the last one, but was so uncomfortably full that he just couldn’t force himself to do it. Jason ended up finishing that one for him.

That’s friendship, folks.

Picked by: Jason

Jason

Cassi (note the winter attire – obviously it didn’t get any warmer)

Ted

Steph. Thumbs up for wings and down for burgers

Shane

WTGW 10/24/18: Green Diamond Grille, Barberton

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OK kids, so after a few weeks of the diviest of dive bars, we definitely classed it up a bit more this week. For one thing, no one had to go on a scavenger hunt for menus – it was actually assumed that we would be eating, and menus were handed to us as we were seated. And then the options inside said menus were a bit more complex than dinner than McDonalds.

I’m not sure how we know how to act in these here fancy places anymore.

Although I think we all had our doubts on the drive in, as the main street leading up to the Green Diamond Grille was more than a little sketch. I mean, it was better than the universe of back roads we found ourselves in last week – but, well, that’s not really so difficult to beat, so that may not really even be worth mentioning.

Anyway.

We were greeted immediately after we walked in, and were told that we could sit in the room behind the main bar or in the dining room. Because we’re allergic to dining rooms, naturally we chose the room by the bar.

Started out with beers all around, although Ted tried to steal mine when it was set down because he couldn’t believe I also ordered a Kentucky Bourbon Ale like he did. I know, my penchant for beers I can actually see through usually diverts me to other choices, but it had been a while since I’d had one of these and it just sounded good. Shane picked up my slack with a Miller Lite, and Jason took advantage of the waning days of fall beer season and ordered a Pumpking. Meanwhile Cassi abstained from alcohol, thanks to a new Whole 30 diet.

This also meant Cassi couldn’t order anything with dairy or carbs – which of course Ted was thrilled to hear about, because for once he wouldn’t be the only one at the table ordering his famous “cheeseburger, hold the cheese.”

It doesn’t make it any less weird, though. Let’s just keep that point clear.

Shane of course asked the server his famous two part questionnaire: what’s good here, and how much food do you get with the order (alternate text: what order gets you the most food for your money).

In response, our server pointed out that the Wednesday special is something called “hunky night” – which, because, I mean, I’m sure it’s totally obvious what that means and all but I’ll explain It anyway, translates to getting the choice a couple of things that have hunks of some sort of meat in it – like sausage or chicken.

Um, OK.

The marketing person at me was screaming at her to please, for the love of all things holy, change the name of that special before you start attracting bachelorette parties and lonely single women thinking a special showing of Magic Mike is on tap for the evening, but I wisely kept these thoughts to myself.

She left us to continue contemplating the menu, and it took all of about 15 seconds for Ted to snap his menu shut, cross his arms across his chest, and declare that this evening was going to be quite expensive on his end.

Well, I mean, in all fairness, for the past two weeks he’s been getting essentially two entrees for under $5, so take that declaration with a bit of a grain of salt.

Ted was apparently won over by this oddly named Wednesday special, so that was what he ordered. He chose the hunky chicken and dumplings … with sausage … and butter noodles … and a cabbage roll … and green beans. I’m about 97.5% certain that he didn’t realize at least three of those things would be included in his meal until the plate came out.

Because he also got mussels to start.

Sounds about right.

But it worked out OK, because the mussels were definitely worth it. Ted said they may have been some of the best he’s ever had.

This could be a meal all in itself

While the rest of the meal didn’t encourage those highest of accolades, it at least didn’t disappoint. He said that the cabbage roll was good and – to use his word – “dense.” I’m not sure exactly how to rate that description, but it seems to live up to Shane’s quest to find the most food on a plate, so there’s that.

He did mention that the rest of the meal had a bit of an identity crisis going on, though, as the sausage tasted of garlic, the hunky chicken contained a little too much sour cream, and the butter noodles ended up actually being cabbage and noodles.

Not that any of those things are necessarily bad, per se – and he still finished his entire meal, so it definitely wasn’t that awful. Maybe they should just change the already-awful name of the dish to “chicken surprise” instead? Just a thought.

That’s like six different meals all put together in one

Cassi did go ahead with her order of the usual “Ted Special” (a.k.a. the burger sans cheese). And then also had to remove the bun once it arrived – which was a shame because it was grilled and not at all mushy – but the things we do for diets, I guess.

Burger, uncovered

She also got a plain baked potato, and side salad – which ended up being just basically lettuce and a few tomatoes because cheese was the other major component to this bowl of supposed vegetables. The server tried to be helpful and asked if she wanted to add on croutons – because I’m guessing no one has actually ever asked to remove all of the non-healthy items before so she wasn’t sure what the novelty was in even ordering it – but of course that was a big no. I think she left the table slightly bewildered.

Mmm, vegetables

Jason got potato skins, after casually mentioning his craving for some fried pickles – another of Cassi’s non-edibles – which of course caused Cassi to bring up that time at Dilly D’s a few months back when she wanted them and he vetoed that choice. Although I said he was kind of saving her back then because those ones were disgusting.

Much better than fried pickle spears

Shane and I went with the pretzel sticks for our app. Shocker, I know. But hit a win on these ones, as they were fried but not too crispy, and very doughy on the inside.

When doughy is a good thing

We also rounded out the burger orders at the table. I got the half pound specialty burger – it had a name, but that escapes me now, all I remember was that it was supposed to come with some sort of parm ranch sauce that I asked for on the side. Because that sounds like something even an adult can’t ingest on a sandwich without wearing a bib of some kind.

Burger, covered

Turns out I never got that side of whatever sauce was left off of my burger. But that’s OK, because instead I ended up with a side of applesauce that I’m not sure ever was actually supposed to come with my meal, as well as this delicious side bowl of goodness:

Maybe pick a different color for the bowl you’re going to fill with cheese next time, no?

That’s right, ask for a side of cheese to dip your fries in, and get something that rivals bowls of soup I’ve had at other restaurants. Score.

Jason and Shane each ordered the one pound burger. So essentially two of the burgers pictured above that I ordered – for each of them. You know its a good meal when the server’s response to that is, “yeah, we don’t sell many of those.”

Hmmm.

Challenge accepted, I guess. I’m not sure if she realized what she did by making that statement. Although her later statement when she came to deliver the checks was that she thought we may have run the kitchen out of burgers just with our table. So there’s that.

The onion ring seems slightly unnecessary

Shane: dreams are made of this

But you know what, we definitely shouldn’t be the only ones ordering the burgers at this place, though, because they were delicious. They were definitely fresh made – I ordered mine medium and it was still pretty pink inside, while Shane ordered his medium rare and it was just past the dead and warmed up stage. So just the way he likes it. It’s been a hot minute since we’ve been to a place that actually cooked them to order like that.

Shane, of course, was in love.

Shane: I’m not sure where to start eating, it’s just so beautiful.

OK.

The Green Diamond Grille is another of those places that falls under the “list of places we wish weren’t over 30 minutes away because we would likely visit them more often.” The food was good, and the service and atmosphere were both decent. It would be an interesting place to check out during a game. Or maybe just any night other than “hunky night.” Because I still can’t believe someone thought this was a good idea, but whatevs. Points for originality?

Picked by: Cassi

Cassi

Jason

Shaney likey

Ted

Steph

Green Diamond Grille & Pub Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

WTGW 10/3/18: Little City Grill, Kent

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This week’s visit is proof positive that marketing works, folks. And the inventor of the table tent should be damn proud of himself for that stellar invention.

But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

Little City Grill is one of those places that I feel like a few of us have mentioned over the years since its opening, but somehow we just never made it in the door until now. I know I for one have received several Groupon emails with this place as a feature – which, just to give you a little insight into how my consumer mind works when it comes to these emails, can be somewhat intriguing (oh, hey, a new place opened up, making a note to go try it sometime) until it crosses the line into daunting (oh hey, that not-so-new place is STILL getting themselves the featured spot on the Groupon newsletter, maybe business isn’t so good and I should probably read some reviews to see why).

Fascinating, I know. Restaurants, take note.

Space is definitely at a premium inside Little City Grille, so I guess their name is appropriate. The host started to put us at a table in the back room, which would’ve essentially secluded us from the rest of the restaurant – thus making us believe that perhaps our reputation preceded us following last week’s not-made-for-dinner-conversations at the fancy house restaurant.

But then they remembered there was actually at table near the front that would hold the five of us, so we were stationed there instead. Probably a better choice, because I have to believe if you give us our own room where we think no one can hear us then we’ll probably just end up being even louder. We’re like kindergarteners in that respect.

And in several other respects, too, but that’s a tale for another time.

The place has a pretty decent craft beer list, which to my delight also included several ciders. Although – less to my delight – it seems that my curse of ordering the one thing on the menu that they *just* ran out of still holds true. Awesome. I tried to get a cucumber ginger cider – just because, well, it sounded intriguing and I really just wanted to say I tried it … but of course they didn’t have it. I’d like to think that was because it’s probably hideous and the universe was just saving me to trouble of figuring that out on my own. Also, at least the server warned me when I placed the order that he wasn’t sure he had any left so at least I could give him a backup option.

And it wasn’t this.

Spooky beer

Hey, surprise, Shane asked the server what he should order! Shocking, I know. The server didn’t really point out any specifics, but instead mentioned that all of their food was known for including “quality ingredients.”

I’m not sure any of us knew how that would affect our orders. We pretty much just smiled and nodded our way through that conversation.

And then proceeded to ask the server about the one thing that probably has nothing to do with “quality ingredients” on the menu … OK, technically, it wasn’t on the menu – but instead a lovely photographic table tent ad that made them look downright delicious … or maybe we were just hungry … in any case, the one thing on our minds as soon as the server asked if we knew what we wanted was the Flaming Hot Onion Rings.

AM I RIGHT? I mean, you haven’t even seen a photo of these yet and already I know you’re thinking to yourself, damn, that WTGW group sure knows how to find the best food in town.

Well, don’t hold your breath on that photo. Apparently my curse has now extended into the food side of things, since they also were out of those as well. Or, rather, I think they technically HAD them … but the server didn’t advise us to order them. He said the breading “didn’t hold together as well as they had hoped” – and so the creation was nixed.

Ted pointed out that they may want to remove the ad from the tables then. Seems logical, no?

The server laughed … but left the table tent.

OK then.

Shane and I were too disappointed to order another appetizer. Well, OK, that’s only partially true – we didn’t order an app, but more so because we didn’t see anything else on the menu we had to have, so we just went straight to our main orders.

Cassi and Jason picked their heads up out of the sea of disappointment and ordered the tater tots. They arrived in a pitcher, which threw us all off.

That’s an odd drink choice

We’re not sure if this was just to try and make us laugh again after our onion ring letdown, or if this is truly how they’re always served. In any case, it achieved a goal of being one of the stranger things we’ve ever seen, if that’s at all what they were going for.

For meals it was burgers for 3/5 of the table, with Cassi getting the Gourmet Burger, and Shane and Jason both getting the “Curteous” Burger. I’m guessing it’s named after a “Curt” who either created it, or ordered it once and wouldn’t stop raving about it, or orders it every week, or some backstory that the Little City Grill clearly doesn’t think us important enough to be privy to, so I’m just going to make up something on my own, thank you very much.

Burger with a backstory

Really the biggest different between the guys’ burgers and Cassi’s was that theirs came with more toppings. Guess that Curt guy doesn’t care for the plain.

They all said that the burgers were good, although maybe just a touch well done. Shane of course knew this was going to be an issue when the server walked away without asking anyone how they liked their burgers cooked. I mean, not enough of an issue for him to change his order, or even eat less than the entire burger … but at least he saw it coming.

Cassi also commented that her bun was a bit too big for the burger itself – but that it was grilled so that helped lessen the disappointment a little. And it also wasn’t mushy, so there’s that.

It does look a little top heavy

She got a side salad with her sandwich, as did Ted with his meal. If you had to guess, who would you say this salad belonged to?

I’ll take things we don’t see often at our table for $1000 please

Does it make it easier if I mention that the salad is supposed to come with cheese?

There we go. Gave that one away, I know.

Anyway.

The cheese-less salad wasn’t the only thing that Ted ate at Little City Grill – he also got the lamb chop dinner. Classy, right? And here we were trying to order flaming hot onion rings at this same establishment.

Ted fancies up our Fun Wednesday

Ted liked the lamb chops themselves. His issue was with the potatoes that came with his dinner, which he said were cooked in too much oil. He even made a point to show us all how it pooed on his plate after he was finished with the meal.

To which I pointed out that it wasn’t as bad as the oil spill tht followed the Great Northfield Wing Incident a few months back, if that was any consolation.

I still shudder thinking about that. Or dry heave. Whatevs.

I got the Philly cheesesteak with tater tots.

Bar food done right

It was pretty good. The bun was grilled but still soft without being mushy, and the steak was well seasoned and very tasty. The tots were probably my least favorite part of the meal, and you know that means a lot coming from me.

Also, can we just talk for a moment about how that picture of my sub with Ted’s dinner in the background looks like we’re eating at two different places while at the same table? Thanks, Ted. Even his plate is fancier.

Hey, remember the table tent that tried to sell us an imaginary food? The server must’ve felt bad for that incident, because he brought over another table tent as we were finishing up our meal – this time advertising a Black Raspberry Ombre Cake that he assured us actually was available to order.

For once something actually looks like the advertisement photo

I mean, how can you look at this and NOT order it? It’s almost too pretty to even believe it’s real.

Oh, but it is.

GIVE ME ALL THE SUGAR. NOM NOM NOM

We ended up with two orders of that – one for me and Shane, and one for Cassi and Jason. Not one to be deterred by pretty colorful photos, Ted chose the Chocolate Banana Cake from the picture-less traditional menu that the server read off to us. Clearly he’s the one out of the group who doesn’t need the instruction manuals with photo assistance.

No pretty colors here.

The pretty purple cake was good … and while I hate to point out anything wrong with it because it was just so pretty … we all agreed that we felt it could’ve been a little more moist. And no, I’m not just saying that as an excuse to use a word that about 96.7% of the population (myself included) absolutely hates. I mean, the only thing good to come from that word is the HIMYM episode where they all have to go watch Barney’s crappy play about robots.

Also – I mean, as long as we’re going to go ahead and point out things that we didn’t like about the insanely beautiful piece of basked goodness – the icing was pretty much pure sugar. Which, I mean, seems a strange thing to complain about, so I guess I’m not exactly complaining about it … other than to say it was kind of a lot. Maybe the little sugar balls on the frosting that dissolved in your mouth when you bit into them could’ve gone away. Maybe. If I had to choose something.

Although, all complaining aside here, let’s be sure to point our that of course we all still finished it. We’re not amateurs. Please.

Although it’s probably safe to say we didn’t like ours as much as Ted liked his … given that I looked over after like two bites of ours – that two of us were sharing, mind you – and his was nearly gone.

We all agreed that this was the best service we’ve had for a while now. Like we couldn’t remember the last time we had service even remotely close to as good as this. Let’s see … the time we waited past finishing our appetizers to even order our dinners? Nope. Or maybe the time we got newbie server on literally her first day who had never tried anything on the menu? Points for honesty, but no thanks. Or, oh, maybe the time the server seemed to get kidnapped for the majority of our visit? Fun, but not effective. You get the idea. Our server at Little City was very attentive, especially taking into account that he was also working behind the bar as well as handling the tables. Maybe we’ve broken the curse?

Picked by: Jason

Jason, apparently seated in the Halloween section

Steph

Cassi

Shane

Ted

Little City Grill Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

WTGW 9/26/18: DelCiello’s, Ravenna

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Note to restaurant owners out there: if you don’t want us to come review your place, you’re best not to even mention that you have anything to do with the restaurant business.

This week is a perfect case in point to that, as Ted has been talking about picking Delciello’s ever since we met the owner at our celebrity judging gig at Aurora Farms this past summer. When Ted said that this would be our place of choice for this week, we kind of thought that meant he would pick the new spot just opened up in Aurora, because hearing the owner talk it seemed like it would have more of our younger, bar-y vibe about it.

But instead Ted threw us for a loop and picked the original location in Ravenna. Which the words “younger” and “bar-y” won’t really come within a three block radius of.

This, from the same person who brought us to Gus’ Chalet. I guess we shouldn’t really be surprised.

Although at first glance it had some potential, as it’s literally situated in a house. Wait, isn’t this Shane’s territory?

Oh, wait, there’s a big long history lesson involved here about why this house is still around. The website references the “historic Jennings House,” which I guess some Ravenna residents refer to as the area’s “white house.”

That’s about as far as I got before I felt myself reverting to 9th grade history class and slowly zoning out.

We didn’t leave it smelling like burger grease and fryers like some of our other house ventures, though, so I guess that counts for something.

So I guess the owners are a husband and wife team, one of which is German and one is Italian. So their idea was to have a restaurant that serves both specialties.

Once again, brought to you by the same person who took us to “Sushi and Bar.” I’m not sure what kind of a reputation Ted is building for himself here.

In any case, at least each specialty has its own menu here, so if you can’t have gluten and don’t want to even tempt yourself with pasta you can just request the German menu … likewise if anything beginning or ending in the word schnitzel just makes you giggle (guilty!) then you can politely hand back the German entree list.

And then there’s also a drink menu. So as you can imagine no one in our group even picked that one up.

I couldn’t even type that without laughing. Please.

It took us a bit to get situated, not only in the proper table but also with the array of menus. The table situation was because, well, since as I mentioned the place is a literal home turned into dining area with a bar smacked down in the center … and it’s a bit more on the “fancy” than “bar food” side, which means it’s usually smaller groups and couples dining together … so there aren’t exactly easy places for a group of five to just slide in without moving some things around.

But you know already we aren’t shy about that.

Anyway.

Opening the menus is a bit like settling in to read a short story to a toddler. Lots of words, and a pretty font to boot. That’s always fun. Cassi admitted she was a tad overwhelmed. I mean, we’ve come a long way from one of her first official WTGW outings, when the place we ended up at only had two things to choose from … and now this.

Anyone need a bedtime story?

Ted of course takes about three seconds to scan the various menus before closing them all in a pile and folding his arms across his chest in the universally Ted sign of “I’ve made my selection.” He then proceeded to try to dive right in ordering apps when we’ve all barely had a chance to scan the 10 page drink menu.

Fortunately we could choose quickly, especially Jason and Shane, who went the route of the bottled Bud Lites for only $2.50. Cassi and I had a more difficult time, since it was a rather steep jump from that to the $8.50 mixed drinks.

Apparently “middle ground” are also words not in this place’s vocabulary.

We quickly got our crap together for the appetizer order, since of course Ted was well ahead of us and impatiently trying to order his entire meal before the drinks even arrived. Ted ordered the Tuscan calamari, which I later learned was named as such because it comes with peppers, tomatoes and olive oil in it. Apparently calling it “Tuscan” instead of “Fancy” is preferred.

Calamari, embellished

Cassi and Jason got just plain old calamari. Which is like the cheese pizza of calamari, especially compared to Ted’s deluxe order.

There’s an irony there. Don’t worry, I see it too.

Calamari, plain

Irony #2: Ted wasn’t so much a fan of the Tuscan calamari. Turns out they kind of went overboard with the oil, which drowned out the taste of everything else. Ted said he would’ve preferred it was just more peppers and tomatoes along with the calamari.

Cassi and Jason also ordered cheese sticks, which sounded good enough to Shane and I that we got an order also. I mean, it’s fried cheese. How can you go wrong. Well, I mean, for at least four out of the five people at the table anyway.

Fried things for the win

While these may just look like regular old “remove from freezer and throw into the deep fryer” cheese sticks, Shane claimed the breading on them was phenomenal. He was also in love with the marinara sauce that came with them. I think he would’ve eaten it by itself like some form of chunky tomato soup if we had just given him a spoon.

We didn’t. Shocking.

In this week’s edition of Shane Interrogates Our Server, we discussed portion sizes, and what meals would easily feed an entire rugby team just after a championship match. Well, OK, not in those exact words, but that seemed to be the implication.

Caught slightly off-guard, our poor server could at least reference the fact that we were dealing with two nationalities of food that don’t tend to do portion control well, so pretty much anything on the menu should come close to those expectations. But the two that stood out the most to him would probably be the lasagna or the Jagerschnitzel.

Shane chose the Jagerschnitzel, making him the only person in our group to attempt the German menu. Although he kept calling it Jagerbomb Schnitzel, which I’m not sure the kitchen would agree with creating (and even if they would, does anyone think adding Red Bull to a meal is really the best culinary choice?), even though the server tried to write it down as such after hearing Shane reference it so many times.

Even without the added jolt of “bomb,” Shane was happy with his meal. Maybe not as happy as he was with the cheese sticks and marina soup, but close. He said it was delicious. And while it was undeniably a large portion, he still managed to leave the table as a member of the clean plate club.

One of these things is not like the other

Well, except for the side of peas and carrots that came with his meal, those got pushed in my direction. Stupid imaginary vegetable allergy.

Jason admittedly was jealous of the mushroom gravy. He had also been regretting his meatball sub choice after the server walked away from taking our orders, thinking that he would have a case of food envy bigger than Shane’s hunger once all of our giant plates of pasta and whatever-oversized-entree-Shane-ordered arrived at the table. But once his plate was set in front of him he immediately felt more confident that he chose wisely.

Probably the most American thing on the Italian German menu

He said the sub was very good. The chips alone made the rest of us kind of look at our plates like bald men stared at 80’s rock band icons back in the day.

Especially me, who was not happy with my Pasta Palermo. Admittedly I ordered it because of the alluring “baked under an layer of cheese” description … because, well, those words are definitely music to the ears of pretty much anyone who isn’t Ted. And first glance definitely gave me hope that I’d picked something delicious.

Ted was thrilled to be sitting across from this gooey mess

But honestly the whole cooking then baking thing really just made the pasta too well done. And soft pasta mush is, well, about as pleasant to taste as those exact words imply.

Cassi got the vodka tomato pasta with angel hair. She didn’t say much about it, and left 3/4 of it on her plate after the meal was finished, so I’m going to use my super-sleuth powers to suppose that it was about as tasty as my baked cheesy mush.

It’s hard to screw up spaghetti, right? One would think.

At least Ted was a happy pasta customer. He ordered the clam linguine, and said it was very tasty … despite containing what had to be some of the smallest clams I’ve ever seen. It’s like they found some clam pipeline from Munchkinland.

You feel like a giant picking up one of these tiny clams

We actually passed on ordering dessert – which is strange for us considering lately we’ve been ordering it if they have it on the menu. But I guess given the portion sizes it’s not that surprising, honestly.

The final consensus seemed to be that if you were hungry and you didn’t order overdone pasta, you could leave this place a happy camper. But I doubt we’ll see the inside of this place on another Wednesday anytime soon, just because it’s not our usual Wednesday vibe. The quiet inside the place was somewhat intimidating. And I think our group brought the median age down by at least a generation and a half. Which of course means that our table conversations – carried well across the church-like quiet of the place – weren’t really meant for the ears that they then landed on. Apologies to the table of two women in the same room as us who came out for a nice dinner and probably left more schooled in strangers’ bathroom habits and the antics of a group of randoms during their last drinking adventure than they had bargained for.

Picked by: Ted

Ted

Pirate Shane

Steph

Cassi

Jason

WTGW 9/19/18: Wolf Creek Tavern, Norton

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Hey, it’s mid-September and we’re still reveling in patio weather here in NEOhio. Three cheers for a freakishly warm fall! Horray!

Although this week’s patio didn’t provide the same scenery as some of our other adventures this summer – I mean, sitting next to a busy street being “entertained” by children at the ice cream place across said street trying to get cars to honk at them doesn’t exactly compare to the time we sat next to a lake, or the time we technically sat outside but were in the basement of patios – but hey, we had giant lifeguard chairs at this one so that counts for something, right?

Sure.

Especially when the alternative to sitting on the patio was to sit inside in a dining room that kind of reminded us of grandma’s unused formal parlor. Or a long-in-need-of-a-remodel country club.

I think you’re drawing a picture in your head, and I’m sure whatever it is, it’s not unlike what you would actually encounter here.

Anyway.

Let’s start with drinks, because that’s really how every Wednesday evening does (and deservedly so should) begin.

Wolf Creek Tavern has a pretty impressive craft beer list, including several that I for one was unfamiliar with. Cassi and Ted ordered the house brew beer, I got something that had peach in it, and Jason ordered something that started with a W and was basically unpronounceable so I’m not about to try and recreate the name now.

Meanwhile, Shane ordered got a gingertini, because, well, when your name is on the menu then you are pretty much obligated to order whatever it is that’s named after you.

They named the most masculine drink after Shane

Pinkies out!

He said it tasted like Hawaiian Punch. That can’t be a bad thing. Unless, of course, you’re trying to drink slowly, I guess.

Remember when I said it’s been a warm fall? Well, apparently that season is recreating itself inside the coolers at Wolf Creek Tavern, because our beer – both bottled and draft – was somewhat on the lukewarm spectrum. Which is an issue that a chilled glass would probably solve … although those glasses are usually kept in a cooler either the same as or in close proximity to where the bottled beer is kept, so in this case that probably wouldn’t help.

#firstworldproblems

So if there are fried green tomatoes on the menu, it’s pretty much guaranteed that Shane will order them – even if they don’t have his name on them like certain fruit punch tasting drinks.

They should just rename this dish universally to “Shane’s Preferred Appetizer”

He was happy with them.

Meanwhile Cassi and Jason ordered the pierogi stack, and Ted opted for the Korean BBQ wings.

Comfort food for the win

Fancy wings

The pierogis were good. The wings, however, were a bit dry. It’s not really unusual for Ted to offer up his food to the rest of the table for sharing after it arrives, but when he’s on like the third round of “no, really, I don’t mind sharing, please help yourself” we all start to put the puzzle pieces together on why he really wants to get the plate out from in front of him.

Speaking of third rounds, that seemed to be about how many times it took before our server actually registered something we said to her. Case in point, Ted had ordered the house brew, but then when we put in our apps he also asked her about the other beers that were on tap aside from that one. She said she would check and let him know. But then we never saw the server again until the apps were delivered. So Ted tried asking again, and she acted like he had never asked in the first place. And again told him that she would go check and let him know.

Ted, after she left: You all did hear me ask the first time, right? That wasn’t just, like, in my head?

Fortunately she did return this time, only slightly before Ted was ready to just go wander behind the bar himself and start investigating on his own. Maybe we should’ve let him – I mean, he probably could’ve fixed the coolers while he was back there.

There also seemed to be some disconnect with doing more than one thing at a time whenever our server was at the table. I mean, most servers use each touch point as a chance to kind of kill two birds with one stone, so to speak – so visit once, get drink orders … visit again to drop off drinks, take app orders … visit again to check on drinks and take dinner orders … you get the idea. It’s pretty straightforward. I mean, if you’ve eaten in a restaurant, well, ever, then there’s no deep-shrouded mystery in how the dining out process works in most situations. I’m sure no one reading this blog has just been sitting in their house for the past 20+ years thinking to themselves, “I wonder how servers manage to find out what it is that you want to eat and when the appropriate time is to inquire about this.”

If that is the case, then you and our server would get along famously. And take her with you whenever you go out in search of the great meaning of dining out, because she could use a few pointers.

Although she did mention to us that this was her first night back from vacation. If I’m not mistaken, that was the whole reason why she said she had to go check on the draft list that Ted kept asking about – because she had been away somewhere and was just coming back to work that night.

Clearly, wherever she went, she’s still there in spirit.

It pretty much became a game of how many things we could say to her each time she came to the table, because our time with her was limited and then it would be another 20+ minutes before she would return again.

See also, why the photos of our apps and our dinners look like they were taken on two separate days, because we finished said apps and the sun had quite literally set on the day before we even had a chance to put our dinner orders in.

But hey, at least by the time our dinners arrived the ice cream place across the street was closed, so therefore all the small children yelling at cars to get them to honk their horns were home safely in bed by that point, and we could eat the remainder of our meal in relative silence.

Small victories.

Three of the five of us ordered the fish and chips for dinner. I only took one picture, because, well, you can figure that much out. I mean, unless you’re our server, in which case I’m probably giving you way too much credit. But that’s neither here nor there.

This, x3

It was just OK. Shane called it greasy. Which I get, but also kind of figure that comes with the batter-dipped, deep-fried territory, no?

I mean, he still ate the whole thing, too, so it couldn’t be that bad. Or maybe since it was like 9pm by this point and we felt like we had been sitting there through two days and three seasons, he was just hungry enough not to care.

The other two members of our party – one of whom was Jason and for once the other wasn’t his food-twin Shane – ordered burgers.

Look, we’ve been here so long we’re eating breakfast now, too

Excuse me, sir, but is your burger wearing a hat?

Jason’s burger was supposed to come with jalapenos in addition to the fried egg, but he wasn’t having any part of that condiment. Not one to see hot peppers cast off as useless, Ted asked for the jalapenos that Jason didn’t want to be placed on his burger instead. They brought them in a little cup, which he shared with Shane. And all was well with the world.

Because nothing tastes better after a few sweet, fruity drinks that some lukewarm beer, Shane decided to switch things up after a few rounds and order the “Mystery Beer” that they advertised on the menu (or maybe it was just because he was at this point still holding his menu because she still hadn’t come around to take our dinner orders yet, and he just for once had time to read the. entire. thing.) In any case, the gimmick is that they bring you a beer that could be anything on their craft menu, and if you guess it correctly it’s only $2.00. If not, you pay full price.

Which we learned was a lot more than $2, since Shane did not guess correctly. He guessed vanilla porter, and it turned out to be an oatmeal stout. He also wasn’t a fan. Which means he paid far more than he had hoped for a beer that he didn’t care for.

So that experiment played out well.

Hey, I finally got a cold drink! Well, it’s only because they put actual ice cubes in my glass before they poured my cider. Apparently we’ve been at this place long enough for new bartending trends to develop now?

Overall, if you haven’t guessed, the service killed this place for us. I mean, the food was OK – nothing off the charts outstanding, but nothing I wouldn’t necessarily order again either. But the service – or, rather, lack thereof – was just awful. And the worst part is that there was no reason for it to be that way. The patio had at most two other tables filled in the course of our meal, and one of them was looked after by another server. I mean, look, we can be understanding if the place is jam-packed, or if you tell us that there’s a table of 25 on the polar opposite side of the space that you’re also responsible for. Give us some credit – we’re not complete jerks who don’t understand the hinderances and complications of the restaurant world. Tell us that your co-worker is a biotch who called off hungover at the last minute and left you to fend for yourself. Rat out the horrible hostess who quadruple sat you within the past 10 minutes. We get it. But when you disappear for long stretches and then return with no explanation while only giving us the grace of your attention for like two minutes before you Houdini yourself to the nether lands again? Nope.

We determined on the drive home that somewhere somehow we annoyed the restaurant gods, and our penance now is bad service for the forseeable future. Our past few visits out it just seems to get progressively worse. Which of course brought up tales of awful service of WTGW pasts … anyone remember The Annex? The one place we actually walked out of without being served? … but were graced with the lingering smell of grilled hamburger grease on our clothes and hair for the remainder of the night?

Please, for the love of all things edible, let this curse be broken before we hit that point again.

Also, we had to go inside to take our photos, lest we revisit the incident of Tinkers Creek Tavern a few weeks ago. So, no, we didn’t sneak off to the local golf club just to take a few pictures. But this just further explains why we will probably only return on patio-worthy evenings.

Picked by: Cassi

Cassi

Steph

Shane

Jason

Ted

Someone trapped the fooseball players under glass! They can’t breathe in there!

Wolf Creek Tavern Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato