Welp, we hit a milestone tonight, friends.

There comes a time when every one of us who has ever been a part of the WTGW crew picks a place that will go down in history as a place we hope to never set foot in again, and is talked about for years later in the context of “I still can’t believe we went there/consumed a meal/overall didn’t die.”

Think of it as a rite of passage. Like earning our “sketchiest pick” badge.

Tonight, it was my turn.

I mean, don’t get me wrong – there have definitely been some scary ass picks in my history. But this one, well, let’s just say that even as we parked the car and prepared to walk inside, even I wasn’t confident this was the best option we could take in the choose-your-own-adventure that was about to be our evening.

And, I mean, this is what happens when I don’t take the time to fully research a place. I had wondered how this one slipped off the radar, because a quick look at their social media made the place seem pretty decent. Browns backers bar, pool tables, billed as a sports bar … I mean, how can you go wrong?

Where to start.

So first of all, you know how places are sometimes referred to as being on the wrong side of the tracks, or on the bad side of town? Yeah, let’s just say that while there are no tracks to cross in this instance, KC’s exists at the edge of town where the streetlights end.

Eek.

You know it’s bad when even Shane – who for a time made discovering sketchy picks and establishments that could very well be legit run out of someone’s home his part time hobby – questioning if we should be entering this establishment.

Now to be fair there were no outdoor photos of the building on the website or social media pages. And the fact that they even had an online presence in those forms also had led me to think this wasn’t as bad as what we walked up to. So I stand by the reasoning that I truly didn’t know what I was getting into. It’s not my fault for picking a shady place, it’s their fault for misleading me. So there.

And so here we are, standing outside a building with zero windows and a basic door that may or may not lead into a dungeon of some kind, contemplating our fate.

I mean, spoiler alert: we survived. These blogs don’t happen in real time, people. You can exhale now.

We walk in and immediately double the occupancy of the place, which is always an amazing sign from the universe, no? I mean, we ignore signs anyway, so I guess that doesn’t matter much.

Hey, there’s a menu in a plastic sign holder on the bar, so I guess they really do still serve food! I’m not sure if Shane was entirely relieved by that. Or the fact that a burger was only $5. Also the lighting situation in the place left a lot to be desired when it came to deciphering the tiny print on the page.

Thankfully Ted pulled out his phone flashlight, so we officially got to be those old people at the bar using bright lights. I mean, I hope we didn’t annoy the other three people in the place – and if so here are our apologies.

I stopped reading the menu at the words steak Philly – because if that dish hasn’t killed me yet at any other place I’ve ever ordered it then it feels safe enough here, I guess?

Plus a large tossed salad. Because this place screams of having the freshest produce available, I know. But I was also intrigued because while the menu touted a regular tossed salad and a large tossed salad, it seemed the only difference between the two was a different kind of cheese and some peppers.

I mean, of all things to be intrigued by about this place I guess that should’ve been the bottom of my list – but I like to live dangerously. What can I say.

So I got a larger, and this was the salad I received. It seems to only have one kind of cheese, and I didn’t notice any peppers on it. Also this is a large? Who is in charge of sizing here?

There was some meat and cheese under that oversized hot dog bun. I think.

Shane ordered the grizzly burger and six of the garlic Parmesan wings.

Clearly no vampires will be bothering us this evening because several cloves of garlic seemed to have been injured in the making of those wings.

Also while that burger may look like it was on an English muffin, surprise – that’s just a very thin bun.

We also got fried pickles. Because they were like $4. And it seemed like there was no way you could screw up fried pickles, right?

Wrong. Very wrong.

If that’s not about the saddest basket of food (and I use that word lightly) I’ve ever seen, I don’t know what is.

Now, economically four small spears is not the best deal at all, because $1 a pickle seems rather steep regardless. But then when they seemed to be breaded in what can only be described as wet Wheaties, well, that just seems like blasphemy.

It’s also unclear what the dipping sauce was that came with it. Shane guessed ranch, but it looked rather runny. When I mentioned that to Shane he said he was just going to use the dark lighting to his advantage and pretend he couldn’t see that so he could ignore it.

You do you.

Ted got six of the spicy dry rub wings and the pizza burger with fries.

My first question to Ted, hater of cheese, was of course “what the hell did you just order?” I mean, doesn’t pizza have cheese on it? Seems a bold move for someone who usually requests for all traces of cheese to be removed from his meals.

He claimed it was for the pepperoni. Ok.

Regardless, it appears the fries were the best part of that meal. Or perhaps any of our meals.

But you know what really makes a meal amazing? When one of the girls who had served us our food comes out of the kitchen to collect our plates at the end of the meal and asks us “Everything ok?” To which we answered yes, and she stops in her tracks to ask “you sure?”

Um well, no. I mean, NOW we aren’t.

Thanks for that.

She then proceeds to tell us that it was the cook’s second day, and so the off-duty bartender went back to her help out – because let’s face it that was probably the most food ever ordered at once in this place – but that bartender had been drinking already when she went to lend a hand.

So that may explain the pickle spears then?

We can’t make this stuff up, folks. As much as I may wish this evening was just a figment of our imaginations.

So while I’m sure we won’t be returning to KC’s, well, ever – this definitely won’t be the last time you hear us talk about it. Because you know this group is so good about letting each other just forget our greatest failures. Just ask Ted and Gus’ Chalet.

Picked by: Steph