You guys. Mark this date on the calendar.

After more than a decade of this crazy Wednesday adventure, we finally figured out the exact amount of food needed to make Shane no longer hungry.

If we retire after this, you know the reason why.

I mean, we won’t. But at least you all would understand why we disappeared.

But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

So it was Ted’s pick this week and he fully admitted that the reason he picked Latino’s was because he drives by it all the time and has always been intrigued with the “bar and grille” label on what appeared to be a typical Mexican restaurant.

I think he was disappointed upon first impression walking in because, surprise! It’s about the same as most of the other Mexican restaurants that he has a lock on the genre of picking.

Although it’s much larger inside than what it looks from the outside. It’s in a strip plaza, on the corner, and from the road you can only see a few windows so it looks like it’s a much smaller space. We were seated by one of those windows, but there are lots of tables on the interior space, and a large bar area.

Be prepared, the menu is just a few pages shy of a complete novel. Which is ironic because the font size they used was small enough that it would give the appearance that they were trying to fit a lot of information into a small space. Good thing Shane forgot his glasses. 

But definitely save some time to read through this masterpiece.

So. Many. Words.

We were intruiged by the drink flights. They had a margarita flight, but you can only get certain flavors. And that unfortunately didn’t include the specialty ones like the jalepeno and cucumber and stuff like that. 

It seemed from the menu that they also had mojitos in a flight, but it turns out that was just the list of different flavors you can choose from

Ted opted for the guava mojito. 

Shane got the sangria margarita, which comes as frozen only.

I ordered the skinny jalapeño margarita. But I’m not sure that’s what arrived.

It had some kind of pulp in it. And no jalapeño. Which, given the name, seemed to be an essential ingredient.

So since pulp grosses me out but my dear husband loves it he offered to exchange mine for his. Welcome to marriage.

Although I lost out on that deal because he already gulped down about 1/3 of his drink when he passed it over to me. *sigh*

Oh look, chips, salsa and … cole slaw? Interesting. Shane tried the slaw substance and confirmed that it was in fact sweet. If you’ve been with us for a while you know the kind of weight that sentence holds.

About 2.5 seconds after we placed our orders the table behind us received their food. I think the only way I could describe Shane’s reaction upon watching a burrito the size of a man’s shoe being walked out of the kitchen was sheer regret mixed with a touch of “what the hell have I gotten myself into.”

See, not only did Shane order one of those burritos, but also a side of beef enchiladas. Because apparently something called a “macho burrito” sounded like it wouldn’t be filling enough and you would need another full meal as a side. Sure.

The enchiladas arrived first, along with something called a guacamole salad, which clearly Shane had no idea what it was but decided more food couldn’t be a bad thing, right? Pre-burrito sighting anyway.

Let’s just say Shane was in love with this place with the first bite of his enchilada. It was well worth losing the top of his mouth given the temperature of the food. He particularly liked the sauce, given that he used the chips to get every last drop off of the plate.

He said afterwards that this was the best enchilada he’s ever had. I mean, he also said he’s only had like three enchiladas in his life – but this one clearly took top prize. He said he could’ve eaten about 20 of those and not ordered anything else.

Which wasn’t to say his other meal – the macho burrito – was bad. He said the steak was seasoned well and overall it was fine – but he definitely liked the enchilada more. 

Are you surprised when I say he actually finished everything? Both meals. The server almost lost a hand trying to reach for his plate when there were still scraps left on it.

Shane was also very intrigued by Ted’s meal, which was one of the specials. He for thr Caldo de Res, which is a Mexican beef stew served with rice, mixed vegetables and tortillas.

It seemed like every time Ted pulled something else out of the bowl Shane had a question. What was that, a piece of cauliflower? Is that steak? Are those pickles or cucumbers?

I don’t know if Ted has ever been interrogated that thoroughly while eating.

Ted said it was slightly different than a standard pot roast dinner – which given it’s a Mexican stew that makes sense – but that was the best American dish he could compare it to.

And he was very happy with it. He liked the flavor of the rice all by itself, said it seemed like it was cooked in a beef broth. And he’s convinced it was at least 1.5 – if not two – full pounds of beef inside the stew.

Which probably would’ve made Shane insanely jealous if not for his whole just finished two full meals at the same time thing and all.

Meanwhile over on the non-gluttonous side of the table, I ordered the chipotle burrito.

It was very good. The chipotle sauce on top was probably the tastiest part. The chicken inside was very plain so I do wish it had been at least a little bit seasoned – but having the chipotle sauce was helpful in that regard. And I thought I might be disappointed that the rice and beans were inside the burrito instead of on the side, but that also helped with the unseasoned chicken.

I took over half of my burrito home because it was huge. I guess in retrospect Shane and I could’ve just shared that one instead of him ordering a whole other burrito along with the enchiladas.

That being said, who thinks we need more food? Let’s order dessert! We definitely won’t regret that later, right?

This move can 100% be traced back to Ted and his desire for fried ice cream. And because no one likes to eat dessert alone, he then twisted mine and Shane’s arms into getting churros. 

OK, twisted might be a stretch. More like gently squeezed. But still.

He also told us there were only two churros per order – and of course we all know Shane doesn’t share food – so we each got our own order.

Surprise! There’s FOUR churros per order. Chalk that up to another thing we could’ve just shared between us.

Oh yeah, and we all also ordered a bottled beer for our second drink since they were on a Wednesday special for $2.50 each. And god forbid we turn down a drink special. Even if it’s the worst possible liquid when you’re already feeling like you might burst.

About this point I started to question the security of the top button on my pants. Because what in the actual hell.

Spoiler alert: Shane had to sleep sitting up after our night out here because he was so horribly and uncomfortably full. I put that here only to remind us for the next time we go to Latino’s and he thinks it might be “fun” to order such foolishness again.

Because we will be back. Despite the overall feeling of sluggishness and malaise when we left, we really did enjoy the place. Chalk it up to a first timers inexperience – but now that we know not to maybe order quite so much (especially when it comes to churros!) we can plan better for a more enjoyable overall experience. The food was great, portions are huge and the staff is very attentive and kind. If you’re in the area and want Mexican food I think you’d have a hard time finding anyplace better than Latino’s.

Just wear your stretchiest pants. You’re welcome.

Picked by: Ted