Buckle in, kids. This week was a doozy.

So the original thought this week was to head down to Canton for a pick Shane had been eyeing up. But when he decided he wasn’t all about the commute – in case you’ve forgotten, he’s usually the one voted most likely to just start eating random pieces of cardboard if we don’t keep him on a regular feeding schedule – he called an audible and kept things local with this revisit.

Let’s just say that I think either the 40 minute drive or the meal of cardboard would’ve been preferable to the food he ended up with.

It’s been quite a while since we last visited Laconis. And even though it’s right here on our town I think our total visits in all the years we’ve been doing this equal a whopping two.

Looking back, it seems that all the signs were there for the experience we ended up having. Just saying.

We sat at the bar because that portion of the restaurant is about the size of my living room and it was pretty busy for a Wednesday night.

These seats gave us front row to what is by far not a very impressive alcohol selection. Ted was able to get a Truth beer on tap, although when it came time for the second round they almost poured him a Bud Light instead and I feel like that would’ve been the signal for the start of the revolution in Ted’s eyes. 

Shane and I asked about what brands of tequila they carried, and the bartender – who I now realize has the qualifications to be a used car salesperson or a politician in an alternate career universe – talked us into a brand we never heard of but she said she really liked.

And then she brings us each a glass this size.

In case that photo is deceiving, it’s quite literally no more than an oversized shot glass. For a mixed drink.

Pardon us while we don’t fall over in light of your generous spirit.

And how much would you think one of those oversized shots/undersized mixed drinks might run you? If you guessed the not-so-bargain-price of $9.50 you would be correct. And hopefully outraged, like we were. I mean, really? $9.50? For a tequila we had never heard of, mixed with club soda and limes in a glass that afforded a person about three large sips. We probably could’ve bought the entire bottle of that tequila with what we spent on the first round alone.

Cool.

Needless to say we were not impressed.

Now let’s talk food, shall we?

I got the rigatoni special, in which you get rigatoni with meatballs, salad and bread for $11.99.

The guys of course gravitated to the Wednesday wing special, which was 79 cent wings. And burgers. Because we never order those two items anywhere. And it’s definitely something everyone thinks to order at a place that leans toward the Italian persuasion.

Shane got 12 boneless wings – six Cajun and six garlic parm.

He also was going to get the cheeseburger to go along with them, but then at the last minute decided to go big and make it a bacon cheeseburger. Because if you’re going to walk on down the rabbit hole of unhealthy food choices already, what’s a little bacon going to hurt anything, right?

Ted got six of the cajun wings, along with the regular burger, no cheese.

And cue the regret train. Hop on board!

From the start Shane had major regret that he didn’t go with his gut instinct and order a pizza. Especially after looking back at old reviews and realizing the pizza was really good when he got it the last time. But he let the wing special sway him, and got burned. Or more appropriately, his burger got burned. He called it “crispy” – which if you’re familiar with Shane’s food ordering habits at all, is pretty much the exact opposite of how he likes red meat cooked in any form.

My pasta was just OK. I don’t order pasta much these days because, well, let’s just say that as much as I love it, that feeling is unfortunately not reciprocated. But I often feel like if I’m going to be in an Italian restaurant, then that’s worthy of the risk, no?

Yeah, not so much here. This dish just had almost no flavor to it. It tasted like something I could’ve made in college when I had about $10 to my name and needed to cook something that would make enough for leftovers to last a week.

My only saving grace was the shakers of parm cheese and red pepper flakes that they brought over with the meal and I proceeded to use like most people use salad dressing on a salad. Apologies now to whoever had to refill those after I was finished with them because that couldn’t have been fun.

Ted was the only one who remotely was OK with their choices this evening. He said his burger was fine – definitely not crispy like Shane’s – and his wings were good.

Show off.

So yeah I think it’s safe to say we won’t be returning to Laconis anytime in the immediate future. Or at least until we forget to look at this blog and think we should give it another chance, which is kind of how we ended up here tonight.

Picked by: Shane