Not sure what strange portal we’ve stumbled into that has allowed us several good patio nights on Wednesdays this summer, but let’s just all say a little prayer that we don’t find the way out, ‘k?

It’s also the night after Ted’s birthday, so we had to take full advantage and hit up a place with arguably one of the best summer views in the area.

Oh hello summer. Please never leave.

And good thing we were able to score a table close to said view, because we happened to get them on a night when the beer taps weren’t working, so nothing was available on draft. Happy birthday, Ted!

We ended up with a Truth for Ted, Summer Shandy for me and Corona for Shane.

Ted wanted to get a lot of food but prefaced that with a warning that wasn’t actually hungry enough to eat it all … it just sounded good. Fair enough.

But then he tried to get fried pickles for an appetizer, and they said they didn’t have any that night – so out of defiance he opted to just not get an app at all. Or maybe out of that whole not really hungry thing. Whatever. But cross that part of the meal off anyway.

Shane and I got fried Gouda cheese bites – which of course we offered to Ted, and of course he very quickly denied because we all know how Ted feels about cheese.

We may not really understand this whole celebrating someone’s birthday thing, now that I think about it. Whoops.

Shane was a big fan of the cheese bites. Which of course put them at the top of his infamous list … until I reminded him about an old favorite at a place out by where we used to live called Up A Creek. So now he has a Top 2 list of fried cheese (cheeses?). Because we all saw this coming, no?

Ted rebounded from his disappointment over the fried pickle shortage by ordering the garlic hot wings … and then paid for his lack of an appetizer by having to wait about 15 minutes to even start eating because he could feel the heat coming off of them.

Fortunately he also got the chicken Caesar wrap. Because all the food. But also at least that was something he could touch without losing the ability to be fingerprinted ever again.

I got the mushroom Swiss burger with chips. And a bonus side of dip for 49 cents extra. But come on, how do you pass up dip?

The burger was ok. It had enough flavor to feel like they didn’t just slap a frozen patty on the grill – but not overwhelming so you don’t know there are specialty condiments included also. I would probably order it again, but it wasn’t my favorite thing ever.

Not that I’m one to do Top (insert pick-a-random-number here) Lists. But if I were, it’s pretty safe to say it wouldn’t be on it.

Shane got the bistro burger – which is a fancy way of saying a burger topped with bacon and goat cheese and Carmelized onions. All of which is equally fancy, I guess.

He also got the dill pickle boneless wings. Which I think truthfully were an afterthought but he said that dry rub just sounded delicious.

Because some degree of disappointment seems to be a theme on this night, Shane was very unimpressed with his pickle wings. He said there was no flavor. I guess just as his ordering them was an afterthought, it seems the kitchen shared that same sentiment in making them for him.

Or maybe – being that they were out of the pickles for Ted’s app also – there’s some unknown pickle shortage that we’re in the midst of? Mysteries.

Shane called them “the worst pickle wings he’s ever had.”

Now I’m not sure that’s a category that even really existed before tonight, but at least you know where these ones would rate if it did.

Shane was also not a fan of the cheese on his burger. And it’s not often Shane or I dislike cheese in any incarnation.

Our service was about as OK as my burger. I guess they took pity on Ted and his inability to order an appetizer because his wings arrived at the table first along with the cheese bites. Shane was like if we’re doing that course of the meal now then where are my wings?

Apparently they assumed ordering two full meals to arrive at once was OK for Shane, but not Ted.

Our second round of drinks took forever to materialize. Shane said they must’ve been milking the beer fairy in the back. Obviously.

And of course I didn’t learn my lesson from the place in Kent to just order at the same time, so I had to wait until we saw the server again to get my next drink. Well, OK, I tried to order from the food runner – since she did ask us if we needed anything else when she dropped off the food, and that was something that fell into that category. But her response to my request was that I would need to wait for my server.

OK, but like, why even ask if we need anything then? That’s like watching someone about to walk into a torrential downpour and asking if they need an umbrella before pointing out that the store across the street probably sells them.

In other words, unhelpful. But points for the attempt to care about us, I guess.

Overall honestly this place has gotten a bit better from our last visit a few years back (which may have been right after they opened, if that tells you anything). And the draw is definitely the view and the atmosphere. As you watch people drive their boats up and tie off at the attached dock before walking up the ramp to the bar it’s easy to imagine you’re someplace on the coast and not next to a small lake on the south side of Akron. It’s great for drinks and bar food, or gathering with friends on a nice evening or sunny afternoon.

But just don’t go when you’re craving pickles, or anything pickle flavored. Learn from our mistakes. And just enjoy the view.

Seriously, summer. We’re not above begging you to stay.