Remember how last week we went to Delanie’s, and it seemed like everyone else there was a regular except us? Yeah, I think we started something there. Only not in a good way.

Johnny Malloy’s, located by the Chapel Hill Mall in Akron, is one of those places that you can tell is pretty much “regulars only.” So much so that every time someone walked through the door, it seemed almost like a cheer went up at the bar (“Norm!”). Well, except when we walked in, and everyone stopped doing whatever they were doing for the next what-felt-like-10-minutes to eye us up and figure out why we were there. *awkward*

Regardless, the night started out good, as the waitress came over quickly to give us menus and take our drink orders, and was personable while doing so. She brought our first round over pretty quickly … and then proceeded to ignore us for the next 20 minutes. Literally. Here’s a thought – you asked us if we wanted menus and we said yes, so that probably means there’s a good chance we’ll order, right? I mean, I was never good at word problems in school, but I’d give that one a pretty high percentage on the odds.

But, sadly, she never caught on to that. Maybe it was because there were only two girls working behind the bar – and not that they were exceptionally busy overall in the place, but it’s a pretty large space, and I could see how it’s easy to let the people sitting at the bar grab your attention more so than those seated at tables away from the bar and out of near walking distance. Truthfully, they needed a waitress specifically working the tables away from the bar, but that’s neither here nor there – because, well, I don’t do the hiring for this place. But what we did notice was that it also didn’t help that both bartenders seemed a bit more concerned with chatting up the regulars than taking care of anyone else. I guess membership has its privileges.

But despite all of that, once we did put our orders in the food actually came out pretty quickly. A quick note about the menu: Johnny Malloy’s shares a kitchen with the take out restaurant Geppetto’s next door – so wings and ribs ordered in Johnny Malloy’s are their recipe. That may mean something to some of you, so just thought I would point that out. To us it basically meant if we enjoyed the food we could have it delivered and save ourselves the awkwardness of having to walk back in the door again, but whateves.

For appetizers (remember when we said we weren’t ordering those anymore. Ha.) we ordered mac and cheese bites and “parm puffs” – which are basically just fried dough rolled in butter and Parmesan cheese. They weren’t horrible, but not exactly what I thought they might be. I guess I envisioned something a little more like bread sticks and less like a cheese flavored elephant ear. But you got a lot for $3.99, so if that sounds like something you like then you’re in luck.

I ordered the Italian hoagie, which is served hot or cold, so I chose hot. I ordered chips as a side, no dips come with it but the waitress suggested ranch or nacho cheese. I took the cheese, and ended up with I think more of that than the chips. But it was delicious, so score. Amanda had a burger and fries, which she seemed happy with.

A vat of nacho cheese sauce = delicious.
A vat of nacho cheese sauce = delicious.

Shane ordered the Wednesday special, which was 10 wings and a medium pizza. For himself. (I know, right?) But he actually ended up taking four slices of pizza (about half the pie) home, which I think is a first not only in WTGW history but also I think in the entire time he and I have been together. #shocked.

Order up for one. Seriously.
Order up for one. Seriously.

Side note: Ted was not with us for this WTGW adventure, as he was under the weather for the evening. But that was probably in some ways a good thing, as there were already way too many guys in the place.  Counting the two bartenders, Amanda and I easily made up 1/3 of the female population in the place at any given point in the night. Single ladies, take note.

Another thing to note is that on Wednesdays all of the Long Islands are $3.50. I say “all,” because they apparently have varieties. Although we didn’t actually hear what they are, because Shane cut the bartender off after the first one and just told her to “surprise him.” And if we didn’t get properly stared at when we walked in, we certainly did once his fruity looking red and green Long Island showed up … along with mine and Amanda’s pitcher of Miller Lite for $5.00. Nice. I will also mention that said beer came with some of the coldest glasses ever, although it would’ve been nice to have them refreshed throughout the meal. It would’ve also been nice to have been given silverware and napkins with our meal as well, but I don’t want to seem too needy. I mean, really.

Which of these drinks belongs to the only boy at the table ... Hmmm ...
Which of these drinks belongs to the only boy at the table … Hmmm …


Picked by: Amanda
Drinks: Great specials – Wednesday was $5.00 domestic pitchers or $3.50 Long Islands, and they didn’t skimp on the alcohol for the price. I forgot how much I love an ice cold glass, too, even in the dead of winter.
Good. It’s typical bar food, but considering that everything was good.
Service: Thumbs down. Twenty minutes between delivery of the first round of drinks and returning to take the food order is just unacceptable. Especially when we can see the entire crowd there, and it wasn’t overly busy.
Overall: Unless we befriend a regular, I somehow doubt we’ll be back.

Next Pick: Ted (if he’s still alive by then)